Category Archives: Ghosted

The One With the Firefighter

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For whatever reason, I seem to get a lot of “Tinder Virgins”. Yes, I did just make this term up. It means, I’m the first girl that a guy meets off Tinder. I’m not sure how I get this lucky, but I get a lot of first timers. I’m glad I can set the bar high for them. HA! Because they are in for a rude awakening on their next tinder date(s) because I am the closest thing to normal they are going to find.

Anyways, the Firefighter. I met him on a Wednesday night at a bar for a drink between our houses. He lives about an hour from my place. It was the week of Halloween and everyone’s schedules were packed. But we agreed on just a quick meeting.  When I saw him the first thing I noticed was that he was quite handsome. I was addicted to his smile. You know, those people who have a smile that makes you smile? That was him. We hit it off pretty well. We talked about life and dating. You know, the basics. When we left, he walked me out to my car and opened my door for me. He didn’t even try to kiss me goodbye. He just gave me a hug and said that he would love to take me out to dinner next week.

We needed up not going to dinner later in the week. Instead, I saw him the next day! He was going to a country bar with his best friend and best friend’s gf to dance. He invited me along to join them. I met them at the bar and we had the best night. I got along great with the other girl and she kept telling me how much she liked seeing me with him. We stayed out until 2am. It was cold out that night as it was late October. When it was time to leave, the firefighter offered to drop me off at my car so the four of us could leave the bar together. He pulled up next to my car and we both got out of his truck to say goodbye. But before he opened my car door, he pinned me against it car and kissed me. Like REALLY kissed me. **Swoon** This man, I was addicted.

The following day, Friday, he invited me up to his place for a Halloween party. That means that I would be seeing him three days in a row. What?! That never happens. I agreed but told him that I had a wedding the following day so I would have to drive home early the next morning. I drove up to his place that night for his party. Let me tell you, it was SO much fun. His friends were awesome. They all loved me, I loved them and it was great. He was kind, attentive, and still gave me attention even around all of his friends.

The next morning rolled around and I got up early so I could drive an hour home, shower, drive and hour or two into the mountains the other direction to make it to one of my close friends’ wedding. I leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and my stomach sank. For whatever reason I knew that this was the last time that I was going to see him. Not because I wouldn’t put in the effort, just because my gut never lies.

I went to the wedding and had a great time with my friends celebrating a beauitful couple. And you know what?! I was right. I never heard from him that day or any day after. I reached out to him a few times the in following week, and no response. Am I surprised? No, because this seems to be a common occurrence. Was I sad? Of course! It sucks meeting someone you think you click with and then you never hear from them again. Can’t dwell on it though.

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The One Who Ghosted Me Pt.2

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Fast forward to April (on month after I FB stalked him and found out he had a gf). I haven’t heard from or reached out to him in over 3-4 months. It was a Saturday night and I found myself watching ‘The Good Dinosaur’ alone on my couch, balling my eyes out. Why is it that when women get sad, we always seem to revert back to our past relationships? Why do we think things would be different a second time around? Why was I thinking of him?

I was lonely. I’ll admit it. I grabbed my phone and found his name. I think I wanted closure more than anything. I wanted to know the reason as to why he treated me that way and why he walked away when I thought things were going so well. I texted him. Something simple. “Why did you walk away from me?” Was it something I did?
Something I said?

Remember, I had figured out he was dating another woman at the same time he was with me, and I had some words about it. He responded, “Saw your blog” (see pt. 1 for more details). I DIED LAUGHING. That was the point. You were supposed to see it and realize that you were being a freaking moron and that women eventually find out EVERYTHING. He told me that he realized she wasn’t the one for him and that he missed me. He broke up with her a month or so ago. But He hadn’t reached out to me because he wanted some time to pass. He said he had made a mistake, and wanted to see me again. I kid you not, it was as if he was literally begging to be with me, and I wasn’t having it. If he really meant it, he was going to have to work for it. He told me that the reason he walked away (aka ghosted me) was because I didn’t want a relationship. The first time we had met, we both talked about how we wanted to take things slow not have to worry about labeling our relationship. I was totally ok with that and he was too. How can he hold that against me? Maybe he should have brought it up?

I agreed to meet him to go dancing that week. Basically, I wanted to see if I still had feelings for him. We had a great night. It was as if no time had passed. We just understood each other and had the same sense of humor. Something about him just made me giddy.

We continued see each other. Dinner dates, dancing dates, random errand dates on the weekends… It felt good. I was still uneasy though. There was just something about I that I didn’t trust. That should have been my red flag. We made plans to go to this opening of a new bar to dance. We made these plans maybe 1-2 weeks in advance. But, what do you know… he stopped talking to me again. GHOSTED. REALLY?! I had a random family trip come up the same weekend we were supposed to go to this opening. But given that I hadn’t heard from him in a few days, I decided to go on the trip. I did hear from him that Frida, the day before the opening, when I was out of town. He told me that he was sorry but he got scared after seeing me and he didn’t know what to do. So clearly, the best option was for him to ignore me again. I’m not falling for this again.

People never change… I wasn’t going to put up with these games. I was done. Fun fact: He did start dating a new girl shortly after our last conversation, and he ended up marrying her 6 short months later. We will see how that goes.

NEXT!

The One Who Ghosted Me

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Back in the beginning of November I had met a tall, ginger, country boy who knew how to swing dance. We met off Tinder (yeah I know, bad choice). I broke my “first date” rules with him when we first met. I went out to dinner with him AND dancing. Huge time commitment. I never do that for fear of being stuck in a situation I can’t get out of. Don’t know what I was thinking. However, to my surprise, dinner was great and dancing was amazing. He was (and still is) quite talented at dancing. We talked about everything the first night. Dating, relationships, life, good, bad– all of it. It was refreshing to have such an honest conversation with someone about life. I literally spent 6 hours with him on our first date.

I was oddly attracted to him. I found myself missing him. He was my go-to person. We both work in the same industry so it was easy for him to vent to me about his frustrations at work and vise versa. I would call him on my drive home from work just to talk to him and hear about his day. I was seeing this guy 2-3 times a week. We would make dinner at my house, watch football, and even run errands together just so we could hang out. He said all the right things. I really liked him. He really liked me. We would banter, and laugh and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other– or so I thought.

We were seeing each other for about 6-7 weeks before he fell off the face of the earth. He straight up ghosted me. Radio silence.

I was leaving the state for Christmas to go visit my sister. I saw him the Sunday before I left town. He came over to spend the night which was normal for us. And then after that, nothing. I was trying to text him over Christmas and hear about his family festivities, but he never got back to me. I finally called him out after a week of him ignoring me. He had preached how he was a “good man”, valued open communication and that he would never treat a woman poorly, blah, blah, blah… and now he just kicks me to the curb out of no where?!

Finally he responded. He told me that he had gotten a promotion at work and that he was then able to afford to move to a new place closer to his office. He said he had been extremely busy with work and that he just didn’t have time for a social life. He also told me that he decided he needs to focus on himself for a little bit and his career since he had just gotten out of a serious relationship in September. Previously, we had talked how we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend because we were both just figuring things out and we enjoyed talking it slow. And I was totally fine with that! I didn’t need a title in order to have feelings for the guy and dedicate time to him. However, I feel like there were too many side conversations that made this all a little fishy to me. Everyone gets busy with life, but when you’re into someone/seeing someone, you MAKE time for them. That’s how it works.

Then I really started thinking about it… I was seeing him 2-3 times a WEEK. For at least 6 weeks. And then nothing!? No way. And who can pack all there shit and move somewhere in 2 weeks? Especially in our current housing market. There had to be someone else. Got back with his ex maybe? I don’t know. But something was definitely not right. Around the same time as his ghost stunt, I had come across a video on FB that made me think of him. I went to tag him in the comments… and what do you know, we are no longer FB friends. He totally got with another girl. Men don’t defriend people unless they are trying to hide that person from someone. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!

Another month passes and I’m still hung up on what happened with him. Remember, I really liked him and he said he liked me too. I texted him again just asking him to be honest. I needed closure. He admitted that he had met someone and that he was trying to do everything he could to make it work with this girl. I kind of laughed and said something along the lines of, “Oh, well I’m sorry she won’t let us be friends. That’s a shame”. He fired back with something along the lines of, “I can do whatever I want. I choose to not be friends with other girls”. Whatever. I’m not going to argue with him. At this point I’m just extremely pissed he lied to me in the first place after being “such a good man” and making up a story about why he just randomly stopped talking to me.

Another month passes (it’s now March). I have acquired enough mutual friends with him that he pops back up on my FB in “People You May Know”. So what do I do, I click it to see who this girl is. Come to find out, he has “Been in a Relationship” since December 27th. OH COME ON! So, basically, he must of been dating us at the same time after claiming that he was only seeing me. Because, it was one week from the last time he was spending the night with me to the time that he was in a relationship with this girl. I can do math bro. That just makes me SO ANGRY. He played me good. Best part, he was probably playing her as well… and she doesn’t know it.

I know the day will come when I run into him out dancing. I have no idea what I will say to him. Previously I thought about calling him out in front of the girl (who (at the time) I knew he was lying about), but now that I know there is an ACTUAL girl… maybe I would take the high road? Kill him with kindness? I mean, I am happy he’s happy? We weren’t “official”… But, still. I don’t know. I know that day will come. And I’m curious to see what my mood will be like that day. Hopefully I can hold my tongue. Best part, he knows I write. Maybe someday he will get bored and find this post about him.

NEXT!

The One With The Ginger Beast

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I should of known the first time this guy blew me off that I was making a bad decision. I had been talking to him for a while before we decided to meet up. We had plans on Saturday night to meet up for a drink. The plan was that I would call him when I was heading back home and I could meet him on the way. When that time came, I called and he didn’t answer. I went home and never heard from him. A week passed and I still hadn’t heard from him. Then one day he texts me with this ridiculous story…

Apparently his roommate had needed him that Saturday night. The roomie had decided to go with this chick from Tinder about an hour and a half north to party for the evening. The chick apparently ditched the drunk roomie and that meant Ginger Beast had to go get him. Cool story bro. Tell it again. I’m not sure how that stopped you from texting me and saying that? But, ok.

Anyways, he told me that story, apologized and asked to meet up and just get to know me. For whatever reason I agreed. Actually, I know the reason. He’s a ginger and a beast. When I say beast… I mean tall and very muscular. I agreed to go to his house to just hang out and chat. (I told my roommate where I was going, don’t freak out). I showed up to his house and he was everything I thought he would be. Ginger. Beard. About 6’2. Jacked. Yes please! We chatted the night away and just learned about each other. He kissed me goodbye and I left.

The next day he asked to take me out to dinner. So we went to dinner. Everything was great. I was very attracted to him and we were able to talk about anything. I hung out with him the majority of that night as well. When I was leaving he said he would see me soon. Kissed me goodbye and I left.

I never heard from him again after that night. I texted him and he didn’t respond. Ghosted. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve hung out with someone 2-3 times and then they just decide not to be a man about it and give me the silent treatment. Here’s the kicker though… about 3 weeks later I hired a trainer and started training at a new gym. GINGER BEAST WORKS OUT AT THE SAME GYM! Come on! He doesn’t even live remotely close to this gym. How is this even possible?!

At first I wasn’t sure if it was him. But after a double take– I knew it. The worst part is he walks around like he has no idea who I am. But actively avoids me in the gym. I find it hilarious and extremely annoying at the same time. Of course I don’t have the lady balls to go up and say anything to him. But what would I even say?

Well, here’s to making Ginger Beast actively take the long way to the water fountain because I’m in his direct path. Challenge accepted.

NEXT!