Category Archives: First Dates

The One With the Firefighter

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For whatever reason, I seem to get a lot of “Tinder Virgins”. Yes, I did just make this term up. It means, I’m the first girl that a guy meets off Tinder. I’m not sure how I get this lucky, but I get a lot of first timers. I’m glad I can set the bar high for them. HA! Because they are in for a rude awakening on their next tinder date(s) because I am the closest thing to normal they are going to find.

Anyways, the Firefighter. I met him on a Wednesday night at a bar for a drink between our houses. He lives about an hour from my place. It was the week of Halloween and everyone’s schedules were packed. But we agreed on just a quick meeting.  When I saw him the first thing I noticed was that he was quite handsome. I was addicted to his smile. You know, those people who have a smile that makes you smile? That was him. We hit it off pretty well. We talked about life and dating. You know, the basics. When we left, he walked me out to my car and opened my door for me. He didn’t even try to kiss me goodbye. He just gave me a hug and said that he would love to take me out to dinner next week.

We needed up not going to dinner later in the week. Instead, I saw him the next day! He was going to a country bar with his best friend and best friend’s gf to dance. He invited me along to join them. I met them at the bar and we had the best night. I got along great with the other girl and she kept telling me how much she liked seeing me with him. We stayed out until 2am. It was cold out that night as it was late October. When it was time to leave, the firefighter offered to drop me off at my car so the four of us could leave the bar together. He pulled up next to my car and we both got out of his truck to say goodbye. But before he opened my car door, he pinned me against it car and kissed me. Like REALLY kissed me. **Swoon** This man, I was addicted.

The following day, Friday, he invited me up to his place for a Halloween party. That means that I would be seeing him three days in a row. What?! That never happens. I agreed but told him that I had a wedding the following day so I would have to drive home early the next morning. I drove up to his place that night for his party. Let me tell you, it was SO much fun. His friends were awesome. They all loved me, I loved them and it was great. He was kind, attentive, and still gave me attention even around all of his friends.

The next morning rolled around and I got up early so I could drive an hour home, shower, drive and hour or two into the mountains the other direction to make it to one of my close friends’ wedding. I leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and my stomach sank. For whatever reason I knew that this was the last time that I was going to see him. Not because I wouldn’t put in the effort, just because my gut never lies.

I went to the wedding and had a great time with my friends celebrating a beauitful couple. And you know what?! I was right. I never heard from him that day or any day after. I reached out to him a few times the in following week, and no response. Am I surprised? No, because this seems to be a common occurrence. Was I sad? Of course! It sucks meeting someone you think you click with and then you never hear from them again. Can’t dwell on it though.

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The One Who Stood Me Up

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It was mid week and I was heading downtown to meet someone for a drink after work. I knew traffic was going to be rough so I left my house a little early because I hate being late to dates. I got downtown and texted the man I was supposed to meet. He told me he was stuck on the highway but would be there ASAP. He told me just to go into the bar and find a seat and he would be there shortly.

I walked into the bar and sat with the bartender. I told the bartender that I was meeting someone from Tinder and I needed him to save me if it looked like I was hating my life. He agreed to be my savior if needed. I ordered a beer, made small talk with the bartender and I waited.

About 10 minutes went by and I got a text from the guy I was supposed to be meeting. He told me that he was just getting off the highway and that he was starving. He told me to order some appetizers for us and he would be right there. I found this kind of fishy. I know how long it takes for someone to get from Point A to Point B in this city… and this guy was taking entirely too long. But you know what, I was hungry, and drinking, so I ordered some food.

Another 15 minutes went by and I knew that I had been stood up. I kept wondering if that maybe this guy had walked in an saw me and then left? But I’m going to guess that he never even planned on coming to meet me. Lucky for me, my bartender already knew why I was there an proceeded to give me shots to ease the pain. I couldn’t help but laugh. This was the first time I had ever been stood up.

There was another guy who was sitting up at the bar who was my age. I invited him to come sit by me and help me eat these nachos I had ordered given there was no way I was going to be able to eat all of them. I told him what had happened, and he proceeded to buy me a drink. Well, for being stood up I was not complaining about free drinks! Best part is that the guy who was helping me eat my appetizer took a liking to me and asked if he could take me out!

I don’t understand how any human being thinks it’s ok to stand someone up like that. Who does that!? If you didn’t want to meet me, then grow some and tell me that. Or here’s another idea, don’t set up a date with me? Or! You could also just say that something came up and you can’t make it; then proceed to give me the silent treatment like every other man who becomes uninterested. I just wasted my time getting ready to meet you, drove 30 minutes downtown in traffic, and then sat there drinking alone. Best part, this guy actually CALLED ME when I was driving home from the bar hours later. I’m pretty sure he just butt dialed me, or he called to see if I was going to answer and just start yelling. What a tool.

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The One With The Dud And The Hot Shot

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This one may get a little confusing, but I’m going to do my best to keep things clear for you. Let’s start from the beginning.

My friends and I were all out on a Sunday for NFL football. It was the AFC and NFC championship weekend. We all got pretty tanked at the first bar watching the AFC championship as the Broncos defeated the Patriots. We moved onto a second bar for the NFC championship and thats where I met the Hot Shot. He was actually our server at the second bar. He works there over the winter and is a Hot Shot Firefighter over the summer. Given we were all pretty drunk, all I could really remember was that he was short and cute. But I didn’t care how short he was, he had a great smile.

You see, the bar the Hot Shot works at is close to my work. I tend to go there a lot after work with my co workers or to meet up with random guys that I’m meeting for the first time. I went over to the bar with a co worker the following week. He came up and talked to me. He remembered me and my friends from last sunday. I made a $20 bet with him on who was going to win the SuperBowl.

SuperBowl week rolls around and I am going to meet a random guy at the bar that the Hot Shot works at. The guy I met up with was a Dud. He couldn’t hold a conversation. Not to mention during our texting conversations prior to us meeting, he was very risqué. It was quite annoying and a huge red flag. But regardless, I decided to give him a chance because why not!? He was attractive, ginger and a country boy. We all know how much I love Gingers. We sat down and ordered a beer. And what do you know– Hot Shot happens to spot me and gives me a little wave that only I can see. My attention was now on the Hot Shot and not the Dud I was sitting with.

The Hot Shot came up to talk to me and the Dud while we were having a beer. He was telling us about the deals they had going on for the SuperBowl that weekend. The Hot Shot also explained to the Dud that we had a bet going on for who was going to win. I asked the Hot Shot when he was working again so I could collect my money. He told me he was working Monday after the SuperBowl. During this whole conversation, all I was thinking was that I am totally getting the Hot Shot’s number before I leave. He is just so handsome. I had a plan.

After the Dud and I finished our beer, I walked out to the parking lot with him and we said goodbye. Thank God he didn’t try to kiss me because that would of made things worse. I wasn’t into him at all. I got into my car and watched him walk to his truck and drive away. Once the Dud was out of sight, I got back out of my car and walked back into the bar to see the Hot Shot.

I sat down at one of his tables waiting for him to walk out of the kitchen. When he came around the corner he smiled and walked right up to me. He started by saying that he had lied to me because he doesn’t work the day after the SuperBowl. I responded with, “I have a question for you”. My heart was pounding in my chest. Why was I so nervous? I asked if he was single. He responded yes. I then said, “Great, because I find you wildly attractive and I would love to get to know you”. A huge smile spread across his face and he pulled out his phone to get my number. I put my number into his phone and he said that he would text me later. He gave me a hug goodbye, told me that I made his whole night and I left. Best part about this whole thing– when I left, I still didn’t even know his name.

Sometimes the girl has to make the first move.

TO BE CONTINUED.

The One With The Blonde Hair, Blue Eyed Marine Pt. 1

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This past summer I had met the most amazing man. I would have to say that our first date was probably the most perfect first date of my life. However, I did cancel on him the first time we had plans because there was no way that a man like him would like someone like me. Anyways… I should of known better given I had found him on Tinder. But, we will get to that.

I met him on a Wednesday night at 6pm for a drink and appetizers at a bar in a hotel downtown. The was about 5’10, very blonde, the most gorgeous blue eyes, marine, and was a big crossfitter. One good looking man. I remember being nervous as hell walking up to the table because when I saw him I’m pretty sure I started to drool. To my surprise, he stood up said, “Look at you!” and gave me a huge hug.

We sat at the table for an hour or two while having a few appetizers and a drink. We talked about everything. Conversation was very easy with him. Drinks turned into dinner. After dinner, we went out for an after dinner drink down the street. He held my hand as we walked to the tequila bar. I had butterflies. We sat down in one of my favorite tequila bars and had a margarita. We talked about hopes, dreams, marriage, family… everything I was simply taken back by him. Randomly, in the middle of our conversation, he leaned in and kissed me. Pinch me! This dude can’t be real.

When our night was coming to an end he walked me to my car which was a couple blocks away. We stood outside my car kissing for awhile. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him and thanked him for everything that night. He hugged me back but wouldn’t let me go. He whispered in my ear, “This feels right. I could get used to this.” Our chemistry was insane. Honestly I didn’t want to leave him but at that point it was 11pm on a work night and I still had a 30 minute drive home.

To my surprise, he texted me the next morning asking if I had any plans for that evening. He had a softball game with all of his buddies. It was the championship game and he wanted me to come watch them play and then go out with everyone after. I accepted and drove down to watch the game. He introduced me to his best friend’s wife before the game and I spent the majority of the game talking to her. I was trying to figure out who he was, and she was trying to figure out who I was as well. It was nice though to just sit with her and chat while we watched the guys play.

They ended up winning the championship. We all went out for drinks afterwards. This felt good! Things were easy with him. He made me laugh! We made plans to go out on a dinner date Saturday night. A third date! Maybe this one was going to stick around for awhile! Our first date was 5 hours long, he liked me enough that he wanted to see me the following day, he introduced me to his best friend and best friend’s wife… Things were looking good! — I was wrong. I was SO wrong.

…To Be Continued…

The One Who Tried Too Hard

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This one struck a nerve. I had been talking to this guy for a couple of days. He was eager to meet me. He was 30, owned a couple of businesses, and seemed to really have a lot going for him. He enjoyed spending time in the gym and was definitely my type. I had agreed to meet him for wine one evening after work. He told me 7pm and where to meet him.

I usually workout after work. So I got home about 6:15pm, rushed to shower, change, get all cute and drive myself to meet this guy at 7pm. I even managed to shove some food down my throat because we were meeting at this wine and cheese place. I get to where I’m suppose to be right on time. I texted him to let him know that I was there. He responded saying he was going to be 30 mins late. Seriously!? Couldn’t you have told me that earlier so I didn’t rush myself trying to meet you on time?! Wonderful first impression.

Finally he showed up and we walked into this little wine place. Super quant, not really my style, but I’m going with it. We order some wine and this little meat and cheese plate. We are sitting at the table and for whatever reason this guy feels the need to joke or play around about how amazing the water tastes? I didn’t really get it. Just smiled and laughed. We had some good conversation, minus how many times he commented on the water, and were able to laugh together. He asked about what I wanted in life. Ex’s. “My type”. My dreams. He really seemed like he wanted to get to know me.

When we were done with wine he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else to get dinner. I was under the impression we were not doing dinner– so of course I ate before I met up with him (as mentioned earlier). Somehow I got suckered into it and we went to dinner at a tavern down the street.

For whatever reason he decided that he was going to tell our server it was our one year anniversary and started calling me honey and touching my arms a lot. It freaked me out. This guy thought the WEIRDEST things were hilarious. I couldn’t tell if he was extremely nervous and just talking a lot, or if he was actually an odd ball.

The night ended. I agreed to see him again to give him another chance to see if he was nervous or just strange. Overall I had a good night with him. It wasn’t until 2 days later that I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him ever again. The two days following our date work was nuts and I was very stressed out. I wasn’t able to text as much as I had earlier; I was distracted and busy. My answers weren’t as long to him and my texting wasn’t lightning speed like usual. I woke up to the following text 2 days after our first date. IMG_7932.PNG

WHOA BRO! Now. Given this was sent at 1:26am on a Thursday and he has absolutely no puncuation … I’m going to assume he was drunk. But, this was sent after one date. ONE! I did absolutely nothing wrong. I just wasn’t texting him 24/7. At least I knew now that he was one NEEDY man and that it would never happen. I didn’t even bother to respond. But naturally I screen shotted it to send it to all my girlfriends.

Guys– let me ask you a question. What does a woman have to do in order for you to tell her to go “f**k herself”. REALLY?! Let me remind you this guy is a 30 year old GROWN ASS MAN. Have a little more class.

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The One With Two Cats

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First of all, there is nothing wrong with a man who has cats. It’s definitely not a “must have” for me, but whatever. There were a few red flags with this guy that I should have taken seriously. He is almost 10 yrs older than me, divorced, lived about an hour from me, a car salesman, takes a lot of selfies, has cats and is obsessed with Tony Robbins. And my crazy brain thinks, WHY NOT!?

I had been talking to him for about a week before we actually met (I found him on Match). It just so happened that he was leaving town for Memorial Day to do some soul searching. Totally ok with that. However, the way he praised all that is Tony Robbins kind of concerned me. I called my mother to ask her if she had heard of this dude. She’s a psychotherapist so I was sure that one of her clients had brought him up. Turns out this dude does good work. Some life coach/motivational speaker person. Alright… so I’ll let that one slide. As long as he isn’t one of those people that believes if he sits on the couch and thinks positively that a check will magically show up in the mail for a million dollars. Those people exist.

The Selfies. Now, as a girl who takes them all the time, this may sound slightly hypocritical. However, I actually read that women who take selfies have more confidence. Although, my roommate explained to me that men who take lots of selfies tend to be sociopaths. Well that’s something to be concerned about. I can’t tell you how many pictures I had of him before I even met this guy. At least I knew he was real? And cute.

I drove down to his part of town one night for dinner. He was coming home from his soul searching (aka listening to Tony and writing out some life goals) and it was really the only night that we could meet up given both of our work schedules. I met him at his place and then he would drive us to dinner. He had a really nice house—until I walked into it.

He had two cats and about eight fucking litter boxes. Isn’t that a bit of over kill? There was cat litter EVERYWHERE. How could two cats make such a mess? And the smell—don’t even get me started on that. Apparently he was too lazy to clean the litter boxes every day. So his solution was to have multiple boxes. Really dude? You’re 33. You can learn to clean a litter box.

There were dishes all over his kitchen and I’m pretty sure he was using his counter tops as a pantry. I’m sure if I looked close enough his bread was probably molding. Does this man own a vacuum? He does realize he invited a woman over to his house right? I’m not a clean freak given my dog sheds like no one’s business– But! I almost always clean and vacuum before someone comes over to my house. Point being, men who have extremely dirty houses will not cut it in my world.

We walked out to his Golf Volkswagen… it was like a rolling closet. He had shirts hung up along the back seat so you couldn’t see out the back window. I kid you not, he literally had a rod between the two windows so he could hang everything. And, SURPRISE!, there were Tony Robbins books, CDs and papers everywhere! Oh this is going to be fun. We went to dinner and talked about life. It was good. He was polite and a gentleman. I went to the restroom before we left the restaurant. I was contemplating whether or not to continue this date or just call it quits once we got back to his house. I was on the fence about this guy. Anyways, I go pee and what do I find? CAT LITTER. How is that even possible?! How does it even get down there? When did I sit down in his house? The car? Ugh. This is so freakin disgusting I can’t even handle it. That made my decision. I was out of there.

We drove back to his house, I made an excuse, and I left. Moral of the story: Men—if you are having a woman come over and you intend on letting her into your household, CLEAN YOUR HOUSE beforehand. And don’t have eight litter boxes for two cats.

NEXT!

The One Who Called Me Sturdy

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I recently went on an actual dinner date with someone off Match. Usually that is completely against my rules. I never allow myself that much time with someone the first time I meet them. That’s a huge commitment. Coffee or drinks are my go to. That way, if he is awful, I pound my beer and leave. Or, if I like him, it could turn into another drink, or possibly dinner.

Anyways, this guy is a professional golfer. Totally not my type. Tall and skinny. Kind of awkward. We are talking 6’2 and maybe 170lbs on a good day. I usually go for the beefcake- gym rat- muscle dudes. I can’t help myself. You like what you like. I was meeting him for dinner and was going into it with an open mind. I watched him walk into the restaurant as I was talking to my sister on the phone while I was sitting in the parking lot. I just started laughing because he was still in golf clothes since he had just left the golf course. Hey, he could rock the white pants.

I met him inside the restaurant in the lobby. We waited for a table for a few short minutes. In that time I was able to ask him how he was feeling. Earlier he had explained that he wasn’t playing professionally this season because of some injuries. Somehow that followed with him saying, “You probably wouldn’t get injured like me because you are pretty sturdy”. Ummmm thank you? Did you just call me thick? Large? I’m not really sure. My best friend had been called this before, given her muscles and her insanely hot bod… So I just started laughing. Apparently this was now a “thing” to call women. I’m still trying to interpret this comment.

We sat down for dinner and we were enjoying the standard first date conversations. AKA 20 questions. I learned that he lives in AZ part time and that all the women down there are only focused on a man’s money. Apparently, he hates that women seem to be so shallow. Somehow we started talking about Labor Day weekend and how I was heading to Vegas. This guy got SUPER excited when I mentioned Vegas. He then proceeded to tell me that his Grandfather taught him how to count cards when he was a teenager. Pretty sure that’s freakin’ illegal. He also claims to have friends in Vegas who would fly him out on a private jet if he said he wanted to go there for the weekend to gamble. Oh yeah! – He also mentioned that about $850,000 of his net worth is from counting cards/playing blackjack. (Shit, I should have ordered the most expensive thing on the menu). I’m sorry—didn’t you just complain to me about how women are shallow because all they want is your money? You’re flaunting it at this point. I about 100% positive one of my talking point on a first date is my salary. Who says that!?

The subject changed, we kept chatting away. I also learned that this guy was allergic to everything under the sun. Oh! And he got Rhabdomyolysis and should have extensive organ damage if not be dead. Such an interesting man. Basically, I could tell you his whole life story at this point and I have only been sitting at a table with him for a little over an hour.

We finished dinner, he paid (I mean, I know how much he has in the bank), and he walked me out to my car. He asked what I was doing over the weekend and if I would like to hang out with him again. I said yes. I was oddly attracted to him and wanted to learn more about him. Or was it the money? Why not?

He contacted me later that week and asked if I wanted to hang out Saturday. Saturday came around, never heard from him. Typical. Sunday evening I got a text explaining that his weekend got super busy and he was sorry for never calling me on Saturday to hang out. He asked how my weekend was. I responded. Then I never heard from him again. His loss.

Why do men do that? They always end a date with “Let’s do this again.” Or “I had a great time, I would like to hang out with you again sometime.” And they never follow through. If you don’t like a girl, just tell her. “Hey, I had fun with you but I’m just not feeling it.” Pretty simple guys. But hey, the silent treatment is pretty easy for us women to understand too. It’s ok. I’m probably too sturdy for you anyways. No girl likes to out lift her man. 😉

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