This one is so fresh my blood is STILL boiling. Let me tell you a little background on this one. I have been friends with this man for over 5 years. We worked together for 3 of the 5 years. … Continue reading
The One Who Had a Girlfriend
The One Where We Spent $300
I must say, this was an EPIC first date. He picked the restaurant and told me that he would meet me there at 7:30pm. We were going to a seafood restaurant that I had heard about since moving to the … Continue reading
The One with Spermaton
Ohhhh Spermaton. One of my girlfriends actually nicknamed this one. I’m sure she is smiling as she read this title. Let’s start from the beginning. There were so many red flags, I have no idea what I was thinking. Literally. What … Continue reading
The One with the Transition
I haven’t written in so long. I don’t even know where to start.
I had gotten out of a 8 month relationship with a man who never actually caught feelings for me back in July 2017. There was just something missing. He didn’t get excited to see me, ever really. I’m not sure if he was just incapable of those feelings, or if he just never felt them with me. We had a very ‘strict’ relationship in my eyes. He would say it was very ‘Christian’. No spending the night and no fooling around below the belt. Any of you who actually know me, know that was a STRUGGLE. But I did it. Why? Because he was a good human with good values. But, this man would not allow himself to have true feelings for me.
We had been dating for 7.5 months when I went to Mexico with a girlfriend. He was asked by his friends if he was going to miss me at all. His response. ‘She’s only going to be gone for 5 days’. Wrong answer. Regardless, it took me some time to figure it out, but I decided to walk away as I want a man who is head of heels in love with me. And who actually MISSES ME!
So, we broke up. Now, you can imagine what happened once I was free from my abstinent relationship.
Well, I somehow managed to move roughly 1,000 miles from everything I have ever known in May 2019. Just me and the dog. Living the single life in a new state. I knew I was going to move for a solid 6 months before it happened, so I took a break from dating and just focused on myself and my friends. I can’t tell you how many nights I laid in bed binge watching Netflix. NO SHAME.
Once I got settled and all my boxes were unpacked, I started dating in this new state! I’m not getting any younger. No time to waste. Lord, please let my husband be here somewhere!
So, here’s to some new adventures!
The One With the Firefighter
For whatever reason, I seem to get a lot of “Tinder Virgins”. Yes, I did just make this term up. It means, I’m the first girl that a guy meets off Tinder. I’m not sure how I get this lucky, but I get a lot of first timers. I’m glad I can set the bar high for them. HA! Because they are in for a rude awakening on their next tinder date(s) because I am the closest thing to normal they are going to find.
Anyways, the Firefighter. I met him on a Wednesday night at a bar for a drink between our houses. He lives about an hour from my place. It was the week of Halloween and everyone’s schedules were packed. But we agreed on just a quick meeting. When I saw him the first thing I noticed was that he was quite handsome. I was addicted to his smile. You know, those people who have a smile that makes you smile? That was him. We hit it off pretty well. We talked about life and dating. You know, the basics. When we left, he walked me out to my car and opened my door for me. He didn’t even try to kiss me goodbye. He just gave me a hug and said that he would love to take me out to dinner next week.
We needed up not going to dinner later in the week. Instead, I saw him the next day! He was going to a country bar with his best friend and best friend’s gf to dance. He invited me along to join them. I met them at the bar and we had the best night. I got along great with the other girl and she kept telling me how much she liked seeing me with him. We stayed out until 2am. It was cold out that night as it was late October. When it was time to leave, the firefighter offered to drop me off at my car so the four of us could leave the bar together. He pulled up next to my car and we both got out of his truck to say goodbye. But before he opened my car door, he pinned me against it car and kissed me. Like REALLY kissed me. **Swoon** This man, I was addicted.
The following day, Friday, he invited me up to his place for a Halloween party. That means that I would be seeing him three days in a row. What?! That never happens. I agreed but told him that I had a wedding the following day so I would have to drive home early the next morning. I drove up to his place that night for his party. Let me tell you, it was SO much fun. His friends were awesome. They all loved me, I loved them and it was great. He was kind, attentive, and still gave me attention even around all of his friends.
The next morning rolled around and I got up early so I could drive an hour home, shower, drive and hour or two into the mountains the other direction to make it to one of my close friends’ wedding. I leaned in to kiss him goodbye, and my stomach sank. For whatever reason I knew that this was the last time that I was going to see him. Not because I wouldn’t put in the effort, just because my gut never lies.
I went to the wedding and had a great time with my friends celebrating a beauitful couple. And you know what?! I was right. I never heard from him that day or any day after. I reached out to him a few times the in following week, and no response. Am I surprised? No, because this seems to be a common occurrence. Was I sad? Of course! It sucks meeting someone you think you click with and then you never hear from them again. Can’t dwell on it though.
NEXT!
The One Who Ghosted Me Pt.2
Fast forward to April (on month after I FB stalked him and found out he had a gf). I haven’t heard from or reached out to him in over 3-4 months. It was a Saturday night and I found myself watching ‘The Good Dinosaur’ alone on my couch, balling my eyes out. Why is it that when women get sad, we always seem to revert back to our past relationships? Why do we think things would be different a second time around? Why was I thinking of him?
I was lonely. I’ll admit it. I grabbed my phone and found his name. I think I wanted closure more than anything. I wanted to know the reason as to why he treated me that way and why he walked away when I thought things were going so well. I texted him. Something simple. “Why did you walk away from me?” Was it something I did?
Something I said?
Remember, I had figured out he was dating another woman at the same time he was with me, and I had some words about it. He responded, “Saw your blog” (see pt. 1 for more details). I DIED LAUGHING. That was the point. You were supposed to see it and realize that you were being a freaking moron and that women eventually find out EVERYTHING. He told me that he realized she wasn’t the one for him and that he missed me. He broke up with her a month or so ago. But He hadn’t reached out to me because he wanted some time to pass. He said he had made a mistake, and wanted to see me again. I kid you not, it was as if he was literally begging to be with me, and I wasn’t having it. If he really meant it, he was going to have to work for it. He told me that the reason he walked away (aka ghosted me) was because I didn’t want a relationship. The first time we had met, we both talked about how we wanted to take things slow not have to worry about labeling our relationship. I was totally ok with that and he was too. How can he hold that against me? Maybe he should have brought it up?
I agreed to meet him to go dancing that week. Basically, I wanted to see if I still had feelings for him. We had a great night. It was as if no time had passed. We just understood each other and had the same sense of humor. Something about him just made me giddy.
We continued see each other. Dinner dates, dancing dates, random errand dates on the weekends… It felt good. I was still uneasy though. There was just something about I that I didn’t trust. That should have been my red flag. We made plans to go to this opening of a new bar to dance. We made these plans maybe 1-2 weeks in advance. But, what do you know… he stopped talking to me again. GHOSTED. REALLY?! I had a random family trip come up the same weekend we were supposed to go to this opening. But given that I hadn’t heard from him in a few days, I decided to go on the trip. I did hear from him that Frida, the day before the opening, when I was out of town. He told me that he was sorry but he got scared after seeing me and he didn’t know what to do. So clearly, the best option was for him to ignore me again. I’m not falling for this again.
People never change… I wasn’t going to put up with these games. I was done. Fun fact: He did start dating a new girl shortly after our last conversation, and he ended up marrying her 6 short months later. We will see how that goes.
NEXT!
The One Who Ghosted Me
Back in the beginning of November I had met a tall, ginger, country boy who knew how to swing dance. We met off Tinder (yeah I know, bad choice). I broke my “first date” rules with him when we first met. I went out to dinner with him AND dancing. Huge time commitment. I never do that for fear of being stuck in a situation I can’t get out of. Don’t know what I was thinking. However, to my surprise, dinner was great and dancing was amazing. He was (and still is) quite talented at dancing. We talked about everything the first night. Dating, relationships, life, good, bad– all of it. It was refreshing to have such an honest conversation with someone about life. I literally spent 6 hours with him on our first date.
I was oddly attracted to him. I found myself missing him. He was my go-to person. We both work in the same industry so it was easy for him to vent to me about his frustrations at work and vise versa. I would call him on my drive home from work just to talk to him and hear about his day. I was seeing this guy 2-3 times a week. We would make dinner at my house, watch football, and even run errands together just so we could hang out. He said all the right things. I really liked him. He really liked me. We would banter, and laugh and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other– or so I thought.
We were seeing each other for about 6-7 weeks before he fell off the face of the earth. He straight up ghosted me. Radio silence.
I was leaving the state for Christmas to go visit my sister. I saw him the Sunday before I left town. He came over to spend the night which was normal for us. And then after that, nothing. I was trying to text him over Christmas and hear about his family festivities, but he never got back to me. I finally called him out after a week of him ignoring me. He had preached how he was a “good man”, valued open communication and that he would never treat a woman poorly, blah, blah, blah… and now he just kicks me to the curb out of no where?!
Finally he responded. He told me that he had gotten a promotion at work and that he was then able to afford to move to a new place closer to his office. He said he had been extremely busy with work and that he just didn’t have time for a social life. He also told me that he decided he needs to focus on himself for a little bit and his career since he had just gotten out of a serious relationship in September. Previously, we had talked how we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend because we were both just figuring things out and we enjoyed talking it slow. And I was totally fine with that! I didn’t need a title in order to have feelings for the guy and dedicate time to him. However, I feel like there were too many side conversations that made this all a little fishy to me. Everyone gets busy with life, but when you’re into someone/seeing someone, you MAKE time for them. That’s how it works.
Then I really started thinking about it… I was seeing him 2-3 times a WEEK. For at least 6 weeks. And then nothing!? No way. And who can pack all there shit and move somewhere in 2 weeks? Especially in our current housing market. There had to be someone else. Got back with his ex maybe? I don’t know. But something was definitely not right. Around the same time as his ghost stunt, I had come across a video on FB that made me think of him. I went to tag him in the comments… and what do you know, we are no longer FB friends. He totally got with another girl. Men don’t defriend people unless they are trying to hide that person from someone. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!
Another month passes and I’m still hung up on what happened with him. Remember, I really liked him and he said he liked me too. I texted him again just asking him to be honest. I needed closure. He admitted that he had met someone and that he was trying to do everything he could to make it work with this girl. I kind of laughed and said something along the lines of, “Oh, well I’m sorry she won’t let us be friends. That’s a shame”. He fired back with something along the lines of, “I can do whatever I want. I choose to not be friends with other girls”. Whatever. I’m not going to argue with him. At this point I’m just extremely pissed he lied to me in the first place after being “such a good man” and making up a story about why he just randomly stopped talking to me.
Another month passes (it’s now March). I have acquired enough mutual friends with him that he pops back up on my FB in “People You May Know”. So what do I do, I click it to see who this girl is. Come to find out, he has “Been in a Relationship” since December 27th. OH COME ON! So, basically, he must of been dating us at the same time after claiming that he was only seeing me. Because, it was one week from the last time he was spending the night with me to the time that he was in a relationship with this girl. I can do math bro. That just makes me SO ANGRY. He played me good. Best part, he was probably playing her as well… and she doesn’t know it.
I know the day will come when I run into him out dancing. I have no idea what I will say to him. Previously I thought about calling him out in front of the girl (who (at the time) I knew he was lying about), but now that I know there is an ACTUAL girl… maybe I would take the high road? Kill him with kindness? I mean, I am happy he’s happy? We weren’t “official”… But, still. I don’t know. I know that day will come. And I’m curious to see what my mood will be like that day. Hopefully I can hold my tongue. Best part, he knows I write. Maybe someday he will get bored and find this post about him.
NEXT!
The One With The Rant
I have to take a moment and just complain about online dating. My girlfriends and I have gotten a lot of laughs about this over the last few weeks. We love nothing more than drinking mimosas and exchanging stories about the kind of people that we have the pleasure of encountering in the dating world.
Online dating sucks. There’s no other way to describe it. There are so many factors and red flags that you have to be aware of. If you don’t do online dating right, then you are setting yourself up for an hour or so of awkwardness when you finally agree to meet the person that you’ve been chatting up for the last few days. And let me tell you, there is nothing worse than being let down on a first date. I have come up with a few rules to consider before meeting someone in person.
- All his pictures are selfies: This is an issue for couple of reasons. He’s either obsessed with himself (gym selfies for days) or he doesn’t have a lot/good friends. Or if all the pictures are of his face, then he is probably self conscious. Of course people say, “Why would you put your friends in pictures with you? That might confuse them of which one you actually are.” False. I have 2-3 pictures with friends. This shows people what I look like in relation to others and that I actually go out and do stuff with friends. Same factors apply to women. Women are camera gypsies. We will take 100 photos at various angles and choose the one that makes us look best. Why do you think we have so many selfies on our phones?
- All his pictures are group photos: If he decides to put up all group photos, you have to go by the most unattractive one in the picture. Sad to say, but true. If they aren’t smart enough to put one photo of just them, or descriptions in the photo to explain who they are, then you have to assume that any of the people in that photo could be him. Now, some of us are really good at picking them out of the crowd. You can go through them all and try to find the common denominator. I think it’s actually an impressive skill to have! However, ain’t no body got time for that.
- There’s no information on his profile: Chances are if there is absolutely no information on his profile, he’s probably just as boring in person. When the “About Me” section says “ask me” I just roll my eyes and move on to the next profile. There’s absolutely nothing for me to go off other than your pictures. And when you have one picture of your dirt bike and one picture of your cat… chances are I’m not going to write you back. How would anyone write you back?! Also, your username is a bunch of numbers? What the heck? So stop writing me because I’m not going to change my mind.
- There’s so much information on his profile it’s like reading a novel: There’s a fine line between enough information and too much information. I recently read a profile that really caught me off guard. This guy was telling me all the things he was not. I found it completely unattractive. It was like he was bitching about all women.
Dude, you sound like a freakin’ catch! NOT! After reading that.. I’m definitely not interested in you. Red flag. This man has some issues. - Snapchat and Facebook are your friend: When you get to the point where you two have agreed to exchange numbers and text, adding them as a snapchat/facebook friend is always a good idea as well. Snapchat ensures that you get REAL and up to date photos of the person you are talking to. Facebook stalking is always ideal as well. You get to see more than just the best pictures that people have put on their profiles. In return, they get to look at all of your pictures too. Win-Win.
Bottom line — No one wants to be catfished. You are who you are. So why deceive others into thinking you look a different way? Because when they show up to meet you their mind is going to change because you’re the most honest, fantastic person they’ve ever met!? FALSE! You just lied to them for the past few days about who you are and what you actually look like. And for the record, whether you are going to admit it to yourself or not, physical attraction to someone TOTALLY matters. Everyone has their own ‘type’. So own what you got! Someone will like you for you! Do you want to be with someone who makes your jaw drop? Who makes you think that you are the pretties and luckiest person in the world because of how they make you feel and the way they treat you? I don’t deceive others. You either like me or you don’t. You either are attracted to me or you aren’t. If only everyone operated that way.
Rant Over.
The One Who Stood Me Up
It was mid week and I was heading downtown to meet someone for a drink after work. I knew traffic was going to be rough so I left my house a little early because I hate being late to dates. I got downtown and texted the man I was supposed to meet. He told me he was stuck on the highway but would be there ASAP. He told me just to go into the bar and find a seat and he would be there shortly.
I walked into the bar and sat with the bartender. I told the bartender that I was meeting someone from Tinder and I needed him to save me if it looked like I was hating my life. He agreed to be my savior if needed. I ordered a beer, made small talk with the bartender and I waited.
About 10 minutes went by and I got a text from the guy I was supposed to be meeting. He told me that he was just getting off the highway and that he was starving. He told me to order some appetizers for us and he would be right there. I found this kind of fishy. I know how long it takes for someone to get from Point A to Point B in this city… and this guy was taking entirely too long. But you know what, I was hungry, and drinking, so I ordered some food.
Another 15 minutes went by and I knew that I had been stood up. I kept wondering if that maybe this guy had walked in an saw me and then left? But I’m going to guess that he never even planned on coming to meet me. Lucky for me, my bartender already knew why I was there an proceeded to give me shots to ease the pain. I couldn’t help but laugh. This was the first time I had ever been stood up.
There was another guy who was sitting up at the bar who was my age. I invited him to come sit by me and help me eat these nachos I had ordered given there was no way I was going to be able to eat all of them. I told him what had happened, and he proceeded to buy me a drink. Well, for being stood up I was not complaining about free drinks! Best part is that the guy who was helping me eat my appetizer took a liking to me and asked if he could take me out!
I don’t understand how any human being thinks it’s ok to stand someone up like that. Who does that!? If you didn’t want to meet me, then grow some and tell me that. Or here’s another idea, don’t set up a date with me? Or! You could also just say that something came up and you can’t make it; then proceed to give me the silent treatment like every other man who becomes uninterested. I just wasted my time getting ready to meet you, drove 30 minutes downtown in traffic, and then sat there drinking alone. Best part, this guy actually CALLED ME when I was driving home from the bar hours later. I’m pretty sure he just butt dialed me, or he called to see if I was going to answer and just start yelling. What a tool.
NEXT!
The One With The Dud And The Hot Shot
This one may get a little confusing, but I’m going to do my best to keep things clear for you. Let’s start from the beginning.
My friends and I were all out on a Sunday for NFL football. It was the AFC and NFC championship weekend. We all got pretty tanked at the first bar watching the AFC championship as the Broncos defeated the Patriots. We moved onto a second bar for the NFC championship and thats where I met the Hot Shot. He was actually our server at the second bar. He works there over the winter and is a Hot Shot Firefighter over the summer. Given we were all pretty drunk, all I could really remember was that he was short and cute. But I didn’t care how short he was, he had a great smile.
You see, the bar the Hot Shot works at is close to my work. I tend to go there a lot after work with my co workers or to meet up with random guys that I’m meeting for the first time. I went over to the bar with a co worker the following week. He came up and talked to me. He remembered me and my friends from last sunday. I made a $20 bet with him on who was going to win the SuperBowl.
SuperBowl week rolls around and I am going to meet a random guy at the bar that the Hot Shot works at. The guy I met up with was a Dud. He couldn’t hold a conversation. Not to mention during our texting conversations prior to us meeting, he was very risqué. It was quite annoying and a huge red flag. But regardless, I decided to give him a chance because why not!? He was attractive, ginger and a country boy. We all know how much I love Gingers. We sat down and ordered a beer. And what do you know– Hot Shot happens to spot me and gives me a little wave that only I can see. My attention was now on the Hot Shot and not the Dud I was sitting with.
The Hot Shot came up to talk to me and the Dud while we were having a beer. He was telling us about the deals they had going on for the SuperBowl that weekend. The Hot Shot also explained to the Dud that we had a bet going on for who was going to win. I asked the Hot Shot when he was working again so I could collect my money. He told me he was working Monday after the SuperBowl. During this whole conversation, all I was thinking was that I am totally getting the Hot Shot’s number before I leave. He is just so handsome. I had a plan.
After the Dud and I finished our beer, I walked out to the parking lot with him and we said goodbye. Thank God he didn’t try to kiss me because that would of made things worse. I wasn’t into him at all. I got into my car and watched him walk to his truck and drive away. Once the Dud was out of sight, I got back out of my car and walked back into the bar to see the Hot Shot.
I sat down at one of his tables waiting for him to walk out of the kitchen. When he came around the corner he smiled and walked right up to me. He started by saying that he had lied to me because he doesn’t work the day after the SuperBowl. I responded with, “I have a question for you”. My heart was pounding in my chest. Why was I so nervous? I asked if he was single. He responded yes. I then said, “Great, because I find you wildly attractive and I would love to get to know you”. A huge smile spread across his face and he pulled out his phone to get my number. I put my number into his phone and he said that he would text me later. He gave me a hug goodbye, told me that I made his whole night and I left. Best part about this whole thing– when I left, I still didn’t even know his name.
Sometimes the girl has to make the first move.
TO BE CONTINUED.
The One With The Blonde Hair, Blue Eyed Marine Pt. 2
Saturday night was our third date. I decided to get all cute. I’m talking dress, heels, lipstick… the works. I showed up to his place for dinner about 6:30. We were going to this nice sushi place downtown. I walked in and his eyes lit up. He grabbed my hand and spun me around in a circle and told me how beautiful I was. COME ON! No one does that! Pinch me. This man made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.
When we sat down to dinner we happened to get a table right next to some people that he knew. I feel this guy just knew everyone. He was a gentleman and introduced me to anyone we came across that knew him. We had a great dinner full of constant conversation and laughs. And not to mention the most amazing sushi. After dinner we decided to run by the liquor store to get stuff to make margaritas. He claimed that he could make the best margarita. I feel like all men say they are “the best” at something. Right? While we were at the liquor store he was just talking me up to the cashier. I found it quite hilarious and adorable at the same time. He had no problem showing me off.
Anyways, we went back to his house and turned on some music while he made us drinks. This old school (and by old school I mean 2000s) hip hop song came on: R.Kelly – Ignition — we both bust out singing the moment we heard it. He grabbed me, spun me around and started dancing with me in the kitchen. It was seriously probably one of the best nights. We had so many laughs together and were all smiles.
The next morning he sat me down in this giant bean bag chair in the living room and told me that I had to watch this show called Sherlock. He made me coffee and breakfast while we watched this show together. I was impressed. No man has ever done this for me. After breakfast he looked at me and said, “Do you want to make this a regular thing? You and me?” Obviously I was jumping for joy inside because no one has ever made me feel this special and cherished. That being said, we set another date for Tuesday to go to this orchestra/singer event.
Tuesday night rolled around and we went to this event together. There was a cocktail party beforehand. I got to meet all his friends from the gym and work. The girls really liked me. 🙂 That always makes me happy when a man’s girlfriends get along with me. We were all smiles all night. He would let me run off with the girls and then whenever I came back he would hold my hand and give me a kiss. The actual performance was amazing. I can’t recall the name of the woman who sings with this orchestra, but she’s hilarious and is a great entertainer.
We went back to his house after the performance. He started to make us a drink when the curveball came flying. He started out by saying how much he has enjoyed the evening and our time together recently. Then he continued to say that he isn’t looking to date anyone at the moment. HOLD UP. You were the one that asked me if I wanted to make you and I a ‘regular thing’. Not me. I didn’t even mention the word boyfriend or anything like that. This is what I don’t understand. Men LOVE the idea of having a girl to do all these things with, but when it comes down to it, they just want to know at the end of the day that they aren’t tied to one girl. And, to make things worse, he continued to say how amazing I am, beautiful, funny, smart, hard working… blah blah blah BUT he just doesn’t want anything. SHOOT ME.
I said my peace with him and let him know that he completely led me on. He knows he did. Men aren’t oblivious to the fact that they are 100% misleading you. They just don’t care. I left his house and never turned back.
NEXT!
The One With The Blonde Hair, Blue Eyed Marine Pt. 1
This past summer I had met the most amazing man. I would have to say that our first date was probably the most perfect first date of my life. However, I did cancel on him the first time we had plans because there was no way that a man like him would like someone like me. Anyways… I should of known better given I had found him on Tinder. But, we will get to that.
I met him on a Wednesday night at 6pm for a drink and appetizers at a bar in a hotel downtown. The was about 5’10, very blonde, the most gorgeous blue eyes, marine, and was a big crossfitter. One good looking man. I remember being nervous as hell walking up to the table because when I saw him I’m pretty sure I started to drool. To my surprise, he stood up said, “Look at you!” and gave me a huge hug.
We sat at the table for an hour or two while having a few appetizers and a drink. We talked about everything. Conversation was very easy with him. Drinks turned into dinner. After dinner, we went out for an after dinner drink down the street. He held my hand as we walked to the tequila bar. I had butterflies. We sat down in one of my favorite tequila bars and had a margarita. We talked about hopes, dreams, marriage, family… everything I was simply taken back by him. Randomly, in the middle of our conversation, he leaned in and kissed me. Pinch me! This dude can’t be real.
When our night was coming to an end he walked me to my car which was a couple blocks away. We stood outside my car kissing for awhile. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him and thanked him for everything that night. He hugged me back but wouldn’t let me go. He whispered in my ear, “This feels right. I could get used to this.” Our chemistry was insane. Honestly I didn’t want to leave him but at that point it was 11pm on a work night and I still had a 30 minute drive home.
To my surprise, he texted me the next morning asking if I had any plans for that evening. He had a softball game with all of his buddies. It was the championship game and he wanted me to come watch them play and then go out with everyone after. I accepted and drove down to watch the game. He introduced me to his best friend’s wife before the game and I spent the majority of the game talking to her. I was trying to figure out who he was, and she was trying to figure out who I was as well. It was nice though to just sit with her and chat while we watched the guys play.
They ended up winning the championship. We all went out for drinks afterwards. This felt good! Things were easy with him. He made me laugh! We made plans to go out on a dinner date Saturday night. A third date! Maybe this one was going to stick around for awhile! Our first date was 5 hours long, he liked me enough that he wanted to see me the following day, he introduced me to his best friend and best friend’s wife… Things were looking good! — I was wrong. I was SO wrong.
…To Be Continued…
The One With The Ginger Beast
I should of known the first time this guy blew me off that I was making a bad decision. I had been talking to him for a while before we decided to meet up. We had plans on Saturday night to meet up for a drink. The plan was that I would call him when I was heading back home and I could meet him on the way. When that time came, I called and he didn’t answer. I went home and never heard from him. A week passed and I still hadn’t heard from him. Then one day he texts me with this ridiculous story…
Apparently his roommate had needed him that Saturday night. The roomie had decided to go with this chick from Tinder about an hour and a half north to party for the evening. The chick apparently ditched the drunk roomie and that meant Ginger Beast had to go get him. Cool story bro. Tell it again. I’m not sure how that stopped you from texting me and saying that? But, ok.
Anyways, he told me that story, apologized and asked to meet up and just get to know me. For whatever reason I agreed. Actually, I know the reason. He’s a ginger and a beast. When I say beast… I mean tall and very muscular. I agreed to go to his house to just hang out and chat. (I told my roommate where I was going, don’t freak out). I showed up to his house and he was everything I thought he would be. Ginger. Beard. About 6’2. Jacked. Yes please! We chatted the night away and just learned about each other. He kissed me goodbye and I left.
The next day he asked to take me out to dinner. So we went to dinner. Everything was great. I was very attracted to him and we were able to talk about anything. I hung out with him the majority of that night as well. When I was leaving he said he would see me soon. Kissed me goodbye and I left.
I never heard from him again after that night. I texted him and he didn’t respond. Ghosted. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve hung out with someone 2-3 times and then they just decide not to be a man about it and give me the silent treatment. Here’s the kicker though… about 3 weeks later I hired a trainer and started training at a new gym. GINGER BEAST WORKS OUT AT THE SAME GYM! Come on! He doesn’t even live remotely close to this gym. How is this even possible?!
At first I wasn’t sure if it was him. But after a double take– I knew it. The worst part is he walks around like he has no idea who I am. But actively avoids me in the gym. I find it hilarious and extremely annoying at the same time. Of course I don’t have the lady balls to go up and say anything to him. But what would I even say?
Well, here’s to making Ginger Beast actively take the long way to the water fountain because I’m in his direct path. Challenge accepted.
NEXT!
The One Who Tried Too Hard
This one struck a nerve. I had been talking to this guy for a couple of days. He was eager to meet me. He was 30, owned a couple of businesses, and seemed to really have a lot going for him. He enjoyed spending time in the gym and was definitely my type. I had agreed to meet him for wine one evening after work. He told me 7pm and where to meet him.
I usually workout after work. So I got home about 6:15pm, rushed to shower, change, get all cute and drive myself to meet this guy at 7pm. I even managed to shove some food down my throat because we were meeting at this wine and cheese place. I get to where I’m suppose to be right on time. I texted him to let him know that I was there. He responded saying he was going to be 30 mins late. Seriously!? Couldn’t you have told me that earlier so I didn’t rush myself trying to meet you on time?! Wonderful first impression.
Finally he showed up and we walked into this little wine place. Super quant, not really my style, but I’m going with it. We order some wine and this little meat and cheese plate. We are sitting at the table and for whatever reason this guy feels the need to joke or play around about how amazing the water tastes? I didn’t really get it. Just smiled and laughed. We had some good conversation, minus how many times he commented on the water, and were able to laugh together. He asked about what I wanted in life. Ex’s. “My type”. My dreams. He really seemed like he wanted to get to know me.
When we were done with wine he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else to get dinner. I was under the impression we were not doing dinner– so of course I ate before I met up with him (as mentioned earlier). Somehow I got suckered into it and we went to dinner at a tavern down the street.
For whatever reason he decided that he was going to tell our server it was our one year anniversary and started calling me honey and touching my arms a lot. It freaked me out. This guy thought the WEIRDEST things were hilarious. I couldn’t tell if he was extremely nervous and just talking a lot, or if he was actually an odd ball.
The night ended. I agreed to see him again to give him another chance to see if he was nervous or just strange. Overall I had a good night with him. It wasn’t until 2 days later that I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him ever again. The two days following our date work was nuts and I was very stressed out. I wasn’t able to text as much as I had earlier; I was distracted and busy. My answers weren’t as long to him and my texting wasn’t lightning speed like usual. I woke up to the following text 2 days after our first date. 
WHOA BRO! Now. Given this was sent at 1:26am on a Thursday and he has absolutely no puncuation … I’m going to assume he was drunk. But, this was sent after one date. ONE! I did absolutely nothing wrong. I just wasn’t texting him 24/7. At least I knew now that he was one NEEDY man and that it would never happen. I didn’t even bother to respond. But naturally I screen shotted it to send it to all my girlfriends.
Guys– let me ask you a question. What does a woman have to do in order for you to tell her to go “f**k herself”. REALLY?! Let me remind you this guy is a 30 year old GROWN ASS MAN. Have a little more class.
NEXT!
The One With Sunday Funday
The One With Sunday Funday
I had been talking to this guy on Match.com for a few weeks. Seemed to be a busy guy and wasn’t overly chatty. He was 32, working in medical sales, and really handsome in his pictures. One Sunday he asked if I wanted to go to his apartment complex and hang out by the pool/grill up some food. Now, given the fact that I am extremely self-conscious, especially in bathing suits, I can’t believe I agreed to this. This was our first meeting.
I drove over to his place and he met me out front. Very good looking guy. He let me park in his parking garage since there was no spot for me on the street. His garage was gated so he had to let me in. This also meant that he had to let me out.
He walks me up to his apartment where I meet his roommate and his little Italian Greyhound. Next thing I noticed was little puppy training pads everywhere. I discretely asked how old his pup was. She was 6yrs old. Why the heck did this dog need so many training pads? Here’s my thought—if you want a dog, be sure you are capable to bring it outside to go to the bathroom. It’s disgusting to leave used training pads all over the house. You knew I was coming over, do you use these all the time? Poor pup. Isn’t brought outside to pee. Sure, if you are working 10 hour days and you think your dog might have an accident, I get it. But daily use?! When you’re home?! It’s the weekend for goodness sake!
We proceeded to walk out to the apartment pool. It was a very nice pool. He introduced me to his friends who were there, handed me a beer and then sat down. The weird thing was, he didn’t sit down next to me. He probably sat the farthest away from me he possibly could. I got to know his friends really well! I could tell you everything about his friend, Katie. Where she’s from, what she’s studying in school, what she does for work, her hobbies, her views on some controversial tops… But I knew nothing about him. What the heck? I came over to hang out with you dude. He jokingly asked his friends if he was being a good host and they all said, “No!!” So he laughed and then got up to come sit next to me.
We talked for a minute and then he proceeded to turn his entire body and talk to someone else behind him. Is he not into me? Finally, I grew the balls to ask him if he wanted me to leave. Because honestly, it was like he didn’t want me there. And if he wasn’t into me, that’s fine, I will gladly leave then endure this shit any longer. He told me that he didn’t want me to leave and then he apologized. Well, alright. I guess that’s settled. I decided to give him a chance to redeem himself.
Let me remind you that I am 100% uncomfortable in this entire situation because I am sitting in a bathing suit in front of strangers. And the person that I am supposed to be hanging out with me has been ignoring me for the last 2 hours. He asked me to go to over to the hot tub with him. Once we were there, he found the only person he knew in the near vicinity and started talking to them instead. Alright, I’m over this.
I kindly told him that I had to get home and get some things taken care of before the week started. Let me remind you, I couldn’t just leave, he had to let me out of his garage. So he walked me to my car and asked me if I was ok being I was being quiet. I kind of tore into him for the fact that he invited me over and then proceeded to ignore me the entire time. You’re on a dating site, which you pay for, and you don’t even care to get to know the girl you invited over? That’s just so strange to me. What’s the point then? Obviously I got along with your friends just fine, but you don’t even know my last name.
Regardless, I hugged him goodbye and wasn’t even slightly disappointed that I wasn’t going to see him again.
NEXT!
The One With Two Cats
First of all, there is nothing wrong with a man who has cats. It’s definitely not a “must have” for me, but whatever. There were a few red flags with this guy that I should have taken seriously. He is almost 10 yrs older than me, divorced, lived about an hour from me, a car salesman, takes a lot of selfies, has cats and is obsessed with Tony Robbins. And my crazy brain thinks, WHY NOT!?
I had been talking to him for about a week before we actually met (I found him on Match). It just so happened that he was leaving town for Memorial Day to do some soul searching. Totally ok with that. However, the way he praised all that is Tony Robbins kind of concerned me. I called my mother to ask her if she had heard of this dude. She’s a psychotherapist so I was sure that one of her clients had brought him up. Turns out this dude does good work. Some life coach/motivational speaker person. Alright… so I’ll let that one slide. As long as he isn’t one of those people that believes if he sits on the couch and thinks positively that a check will magically show up in the mail for a million dollars. Those people exist.
The Selfies. Now, as a girl who takes them all the time, this may sound slightly hypocritical. However, I actually read that women who take selfies have more confidence. Although, my roommate explained to me that men who take lots of selfies tend to be sociopaths. Well that’s something to be concerned about. I can’t tell you how many pictures I had of him before I even met this guy. At least I knew he was real? And cute.
I drove down to his part of town one night for dinner. He was coming home from his soul searching (aka listening to Tony and writing out some life goals) and it was really the only night that we could meet up given both of our work schedules. I met him at his place and then he would drive us to dinner. He had a really nice house—until I walked into it.
He had two cats and about eight fucking litter boxes. Isn’t that a bit of over kill? There was cat litter EVERYWHERE. How could two cats make such a mess? And the smell—don’t even get me started on that. Apparently he was too lazy to clean the litter boxes every day. So his solution was to have multiple boxes. Really dude? You’re 33. You can learn to clean a litter box.
There were dishes all over his kitchen and I’m pretty sure he was using his counter tops as a pantry. I’m sure if I looked close enough his bread was probably molding. Does this man own a vacuum? He does realize he invited a woman over to his house right? I’m not a clean freak given my dog sheds like no one’s business– But! I almost always clean and vacuum before someone comes over to my house. Point being, men who have extremely dirty houses will not cut it in my world.
We walked out to his Golf Volkswagen… it was like a rolling closet. He had shirts hung up along the back seat so you couldn’t see out the back window. I kid you not, he literally had a rod between the two windows so he could hang everything. And, SURPRISE!, there were Tony Robbins books, CDs and papers everywhere! Oh this is going to be fun. We went to dinner and talked about life. It was good. He was polite and a gentleman. I went to the restroom before we left the restaurant. I was contemplating whether or not to continue this date or just call it quits once we got back to his house. I was on the fence about this guy. Anyways, I go pee and what do I find? CAT LITTER. How is that even possible?! How does it even get down there? When did I sit down in his house? The car? Ugh. This is so freakin disgusting I can’t even handle it. That made my decision. I was out of there.
We drove back to his house, I made an excuse, and I left. Moral of the story: Men—if you are having a woman come over and you intend on letting her into your household, CLEAN YOUR HOUSE beforehand. And don’t have eight litter boxes for two cats.
NEXT!
The One Who Has the Same Name Ned Stark’s Bastard Son
It was Thursday night and I had just finished my date with the Collegiate Wrestler. I had been talking to this guy for a while who happened to have the same name as one of the lead characters in Game of Thrones. Here’s the kicker, I had never seen Game of Thrones at the time. So I really had no connection to the name like the rest of the world apparently does.
Anyways, he had asked me to come meet him once he got off work to grab a beer. Sounded good to me! Meeting for a drink is way easier than a meal. Let me give you some background: blonde, ex-military, rugby player, currently in school trying to make something of himself. I’ll take it. I have a thing with military men. And rugby guys. Usually because they are so manly. I meet this guy— not what I was anticipating. Yes, he looked like his pictures. No, I wouldn’t classify him as manly. He was cute, but I was definitely bigger than this kid. Which is embarrassing on some level because I’m only 5’4. Lets just say my thigh was the size of his waist. I also can’t forget to tell you that, for whatever reason, Friday is “No Pants Friday” in his world. So, he was in a kilt. Not even kidding. Is that shit authentic? Is this a joke? What are you wearing under there? Alright– I’ll roll with it.
Just so happened that World of Beer was playing Irish music that night. Maybe he won’t stick out like a sore thumb? The waitress came over and got our IDs and his credit card. When she came back to the table she said something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is really your name! Is this really your name?” No waitress lady, that’s not his name—he just wanted to get new credit cards, IDs and social security card just to have a ‘famous’ name from a TV show. Again, apparently this is a big deal in the Game of Thrones world. I didn’t care. A couple minutes later this woman who was in the Irish band that was preforming came up and asked him what clan he was a part of. Really? What clan he is a part of? I’m pretty sure Snow isn’t Irish. Just saying. It’s English actually (yes I just looked it up). He put on this fake Irish accent and started talking to her. Mmm what? Since when do you have an Irish accent? All I could do was sit there and drink my beer so I wouldn’t laugh. This dude just kept getting weirder.
I tried to keep the conversation going for a while, but eventually I pulled the ‘I have to work in the morning card’. It was the truth, I had to be up at 4:45ish to start my day. He walked me to my car and I could tell he wanted to kiss me. Oh god, how am I going to get out of this one? He came in for the hug/slash kissed goodbye and I dodged him. Whew, that was close. He said he wanted to see me again and all the jazz. Ok, cool. Sure.
I got in my car and started driving home. What was I thinking? I don’t want to see this kid again! Not my type. The next morning he texted me asking when he could see me again. I was honest with him and told him that he is a really nice guy but just isn’t my type. I also said, I am more than willing to hang out again but I didn’t see it going anywhere beyond friends. He responded that I wasn’t giving him a chance and that who knew what it would develop into. Of course, he is right on that front. HOWEVER, I have definitely gone out with amazing, wholesome men before that I wasn’t physically/sexually attracted to. And I learned that attraction like that doesn’t “grow”. It has to be there. Anyways, he was crushed. I never heard from him again. But he still sends me snapchats. Awkward.
NEXT!
The One With the Collegiate Wrestler
I was meeting this guy off of Tinder for dinner (remember, I now have established rules). He seemed pretty cute from his pictures and had a good head on his shoulders. Not to mention some muscle. We met at this sports bar in Wash Park on a Thursday night. Cute place, I had never been there before. He was very cute. Kind of short for my liking… but attractive none the less. The one thing I really liked about him was that we talked for an hour before we even ordered dinner. We did the whole 20 questions thing and got pretty deep into some conversations about life. We were able to bond about the small Wyoming town where he is from because I had actually been there. We people watched. Turns out, he even knew the bartender by chance. it was one of his buddies from his Softball League. So, we got free shots too. It was a great first date.
After dinner he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye. I’m not going to lie—sparks were flying! He even said he didn’t want to walk away because he wanted to keep kissing me. Once I got in my car I checked my phone. Another guy (who has the same name as Ned Stark’s bastard son, no joke) texted me wanting to meet up. So, I went to meet him after my date (THIS WILL BE THE NEXT STORY). And yes, I did meet two guys in one night.
The next day I heard from the collegiate wrestler again. He was telling me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he wanted to know if I would go out to dinner with him AGAIN tonight. I had another date with a different guy setup… so I told him I wasn’t sure but would get back to him. Long story short, other dude bailed and I saw the wrestler for the second night in a row.
I met him at his place and we drove to The Rio together. Again we sat and talked with our drinks for about an hour before we even looked at the menu. For whatever reason we just clicked. I really enjoyed talking to him. He even liked to hold my hand while we were at the table.
After dinner we went back to his place to meet up with his roommates. They were going downtown with some friends and he wanted me to go along. Why not? Downtown was fun. I was able to hang out with him and get to know his friends. The girls even left the guys for a while to go dance. I joined the girls to show him I was comfortable enough to stand on my own and didn’t need to follow him around in order to have fun with him and his friends. However, it was always nice coming back to him.
This is where it gets interesting… On the way home (we took the light rail) he told me that his mother would really like me. WHAT? Ok… where is this going? I let it slide since he had been drinking and then he just continued right along about how I am the type of girl he wants to be with. Well that was nice to hear.
A couple days later we got together again. This time he came over to my house after work and I made him dinner. Things seemed to be going great! We really enjoyed each other and not to mention I really liked kissing him.
Then – CURVEBALL. He started not texting me in the mornings (first sign) and then he started making excuses when it came to getting together (typical boy move). When a man changes his normal everyday communication with you, something is ALWAYS up. I let it slide for a couple days and then I called him out on it. I have to admit that I was impressed that he was honest with me. He said he wasn’t really looking for anything right now and that he was feeling overwhelmed at work. That’s totally fine, but I didn’t mention ANYTHING about a relationship. I was just enjoying my time with him. And that was the end of that. 2 dates and one homemade dinner later he decided he didn’t want to see me again. That’s alright. His loss.
NEXT!
The One Who Called Me Sturdy
I recently went on an actual dinner date with someone off Match. Usually that is completely against my rules. I never allow myself that much time with someone the first time I meet them. That’s a huge commitment. Coffee or drinks are my go to. That way, if he is awful, I pound my beer and leave. Or, if I like him, it could turn into another drink, or possibly dinner.
Anyways, this guy is a professional golfer. Totally not my type. Tall and skinny. Kind of awkward. We are talking 6’2 and maybe 170lbs on a good day. I usually go for the beefcake- gym rat- muscle dudes. I can’t help myself. You like what you like. I was meeting him for dinner and was going into it with an open mind. I watched him walk into the restaurant as I was talking to my sister on the phone while I was sitting in the parking lot. I just started laughing because he was still in golf clothes since he had just left the golf course. Hey, he could rock the white pants.
I met him inside the restaurant in the lobby. We waited for a table for a few short minutes. In that time I was able to ask him how he was feeling. Earlier he had explained that he wasn’t playing professionally this season because of some injuries. Somehow that followed with him saying, “You probably wouldn’t get injured like me because you are pretty sturdy”. Ummmm thank you? Did you just call me thick? Large? I’m not really sure. My best friend had been called this before, given her muscles and her insanely hot bod… So I just started laughing. Apparently this was now a “thing” to call women. I’m still trying to interpret this comment.
We sat down for dinner and we were enjoying the standard first date conversations. AKA 20 questions. I learned that he lives in AZ part time and that all the women down there are only focused on a man’s money. Apparently, he hates that women seem to be so shallow. Somehow we started talking about Labor Day weekend and how I was heading to Vegas. This guy got SUPER excited when I mentioned Vegas. He then proceeded to tell me that his Grandfather taught him how to count cards when he was a teenager. Pretty sure that’s freakin’ illegal. He also claims to have friends in Vegas who would fly him out on a private jet if he said he wanted to go there for the weekend to gamble. Oh yeah! – He also mentioned that about $850,000 of his net worth is from counting cards/playing blackjack. (Shit, I should have ordered the most expensive thing on the menu). I’m sorry—didn’t you just complain to me about how women are shallow because all they want is your money? You’re flaunting it at this point. I about 100% positive one of my talking point on a first date is my salary. Who says that!?
The subject changed, we kept chatting away. I also learned that this guy was allergic to everything under the sun. Oh! And he got Rhabdomyolysis and should have extensive organ damage if not be dead. Such an interesting man. Basically, I could tell you his whole life story at this point and I have only been sitting at a table with him for a little over an hour.
We finished dinner, he paid (I mean, I know how much he has in the bank), and he walked me out to my car. He asked what I was doing over the weekend and if I would like to hang out with him again. I said yes. I was oddly attracted to him and wanted to learn more about him. Or was it the money? Why not?
He contacted me later that week and asked if I wanted to hang out Saturday. Saturday came around, never heard from him. Typical. Sunday evening I got a text explaining that his weekend got super busy and he was sorry for never calling me on Saturday to hang out. He asked how my weekend was. I responded. Then I never heard from him again. His loss.
Why do men do that? They always end a date with “Let’s do this again.” Or “I had a great time, I would like to hang out with you again sometime.” And they never follow through. If you don’t like a girl, just tell her. “Hey, I had fun with you but I’m just not feeling it.” Pretty simple guys. But hey, the silent treatment is pretty easy for us women to understand too. It’s ok. I’m probably too sturdy for you anyways. No girl likes to out lift her man. 😉
NEXT!
The One Who’s Ex Called 4 Times
I had been talking to this guy for about 3-4 months before I even met him. I had ‘met’ him off Tinder. Super hilarious man. I really enjoyed talking to him. He had just gotten out of a very serious relationship and I knew he was on the rebound. That’s ok. I still talked to him. He told me about his dates, I told him about mine. Nothing crazy.
It wasn’t until football season that we decided to actually meet each other for the first time. I went over to his house and we watched football and talked. I think we were both surprised that we were actually way more attracted to each other than we were anticipating. We went to Chipotle after the game for dinner and continued to banter like old friends. When I left for the night he kissed me goodbye.
A few days later he called to ask me if I would like to join him and a colleague who was in town for dinner and drinks. Of course, I accepted. I showed up at his house and us three walked into the city for dinner. Everything was going great. It wasn’t until after dinner that his phone started to ring. Constantly. After the 4th time it rang I finally just told him to answer it and that me and his friend would meet him inside the next bar. He was outside on the phone for a long time. I knew something was up. When he hung up he came inside and told us that he was going to have to call it a night and head home. We said goodbye to his friend and then we both walked back to his place.
On the walk back he started to explain that it was his ex who had been calling him. I found it strange that it had been months since they had broken up and he still felt obligated to answer her phone calls. Apparently she was driving one of his cars (why?) and he thought something had happened to it. I told him that I understood and that it was ok (even though it wasn’t). Anyways, he walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes for the night.
The next morning I got a text message from his EX GIRLFRIEND. Apparently she went over to his house after I left so she could get a few of her things. They started talking and she ended up staying the night. When he left for work the next morning, she got on his iPad, pulled my number from it and texted me. This girl is CRAZY. I don’t have the original texts anymore. But it went something like this, “This is _______. I’m his ex girlfriend. He is not ready to date anyone right now. He is in a very bad place and is confused about what he wants in life. It’s not fair that you are taking advantage of him right now when he is so vulnerable. How could anyone do that?! I think you should stop texting him. He needs to be around his friends and family right now. Not going out with some random girl like you. He doesn’t need a girl in his life right now.” I laughed SO HARD when she texted me. All I had done was kissed this guy! If she only knew how many women he had slept with since they had broken up… Haha! It was unreal. Is that considered bat-shit crazy?
I forwarded the messages to him and told him that it just wasn’t going to work out. And that he might want to put a password on his iPad.
Untold Stories Of A Twenty Something 