This one is so fresh my blood is STILL boiling.

Let me tell you a little background on this one. I have been friends with this man for over 5 years. We worked together for 3 of the 5 years. We currently live in different states. He and his long term gf for 3ish years broke up about 4-5 months ago. Since then, we’ve had a couple of conversations via text and the phone. This week, our conversations took a turn to the risqué side of things (you know what I’m getting at here). He was telling me about the first time he saw me. How he wanted to kiss me. How great my ass is (it is great by the way). He was asking to see me the next time I was home. We were talking about me coming home for a weekend to see him. He was complimenting me and calling me babe. All of these things really made this girl feel good about herself. I’ve always found this man attractive, but I never acted on it out of the respect of his, then current, relationship.

Anyways, on Tuesday I ended up booking a trip home to see him so we could actually just hang out and see if anything was there between us. This was after a pretty hot conversation between the two of us. Fast forward two days to this morning (Thursday) — I had a message on Facebook from a woman I didn’t know. The message read ‘Hi I don’t know of you know this but _______ has a girlfriend so I’d appreciate it if you back off’. First of all, proof read your messages. Second, her grammar is amazing. Third, she is HIS girlfriend. Now, given I was still half asleep when I read this message, the anger didn’t kick in until I realized I was blocked from all of his social media. I’m sorry, WHAT?! Did you just forget to mention her two days ago when we were having these risqué conversations with each other? Was she going to join us for dinner in a couple weeks when I came home to see you?

So, I was curious if he was the one who blocked me on social media or if it was the new gf, who I didn’t know existed until literally 30 seconds ago. Being the smart woman I am, Snapchat to the rescue! I wrote him on Snapchat, told him that I had been contacted by someone telling me he had a girlfriend. He responded ‘Yes, I shouldn’t have let Tuesday go as far as it did. We recently became exclusive’. Oh, I EXPLODED y’all. I thought he was a GOOD MAN. Who does that? Leads another woman on to the extreme when he’s starting to develop a relationship with another. Also… a couple of red flags here: 1) She had the balls to message me and tell me to leave him alone. Shouldn’t she be having this conversation with him? 2) He never told me about her. 3) If he is so ‘tempted’ to be with me, why is he with her if he’s not satisfied? **insert extreme eye roll here**

I told him this was bullshit and I deserved an explanation because we’ve been friends for 5 years! Long story short, he apologized saying he shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did because that’s not the man he wants to be. That it was his fault, not mine (DAMN STRAIGHT), and that he is a weak man that fell to temptation. Therefore, he was the one who blocked me from all forms of social media because he didn’t want to be tempted by me again. Let me be clear, I did not ‘trick’ this man into talking dirty to me. He’s a grown ass man who makes his own decisions. Also, I live 1,000 miles away from him! Nor did I ask to be in a relationship with him. I just wanted the chance to get to know him a little better.

In my rage, I clearly called one of my best friends this morning and she did a little stalking to confirm that the woman who contacted me was, indeed, his girlfriend. She was also able to see that they were ‘in a relationship’ via Facebook at 4pm on Wednesday. Super classy man. *Shout out to my girl for automatically going into ‘fact finding mode’ without me even having to ask. That’s what true friendship is.* Just because you were ‘technically’ not in a relationship with her at the time does NOT make it ok.

Simple Time Line: Tuesday, he wanted me. Wednesday, he was in a relationship. Thursday, girl messaged me and he fessed up to having a girlfriend. Well, that escalated quickly!

Final thoughts on this: if you are not satisfied with a relationship to the point where you are clearly crossing the lines with someone else… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT BE WITH THEM. Why settle? Why convince yourself to be with someone that doesn’t satisfy you? As a reminder, I’m talking about the beginning stages of dating here. Not a couple that’s been married for 20 years. Also, do I tell her that I didn’t know she existed? Or what he said to me? What he sent to me? Or do I leave that up to him?

Ugh. Still outraged.

NEXT!