Monthly Archives: March 2016

The One Who Ghosted Me

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Back in the beginning of November I had met a tall, ginger, country boy who knew how to swing dance. We met off Tinder (yeah I know, bad choice). I broke my “first date” rules with him when we first met. I went out to dinner with him AND dancing. Huge time commitment. I never do that for fear of being stuck in a situation I can’t get out of. Don’t know what I was thinking. However, to my surprise, dinner was great and dancing was amazing. He was (and still is) quite talented at dancing. We talked about everything the first night. Dating, relationships, life, good, bad– all of it. It was refreshing to have such an honest conversation with someone about life. I literally spent 6 hours with him on our first date.

I was oddly attracted to him. I found myself missing him. He was my go-to person. We both work in the same industry so it was easy for him to vent to me about his frustrations at work and vise versa. I would call him on my drive home from work just to talk to him and hear about his day. I was seeing this guy 2-3 times a week. We would make dinner at my house, watch football, and even run errands together just so we could hang out. He said all the right things. I really liked him. He really liked me. We would banter, and laugh and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other– or so I thought.

We were seeing each other for about 6-7 weeks before he fell off the face of the earth. He straight up ghosted me. Radio silence.

I was leaving the state for Christmas to go visit my sister. I saw him the Sunday before I left town. He came over to spend the night which was normal for us. And then after that, nothing. I was trying to text him over Christmas and hear about his family festivities, but he never got back to me. I finally called him out after a week of him ignoring me. He had preached how he was a “good man”, valued open communication and that he would never treat a woman poorly, blah, blah, blah… and now he just kicks me to the curb out of no where?!

Finally he responded. He told me that he had gotten a promotion at work and that he was then able to afford to move to a new place closer to his office. He said he had been extremely busy with work and that he just didn’t have time for a social life. He also told me that he decided he needs to focus on himself for a little bit and his career since he had just gotten out of a serious relationship in September. Previously, we had talked how we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend because we were both just figuring things out and we enjoyed talking it slow. And I was totally fine with that! I didn’t need a title in order to have feelings for the guy and dedicate time to him. However, I feel like there were too many side conversations that made this all a little fishy to me. Everyone gets busy with life, but when you’re into someone/seeing someone, you MAKE time for them. That’s how it works.

Then I really started thinking about it… I was seeing him 2-3 times a WEEK. For at least 6 weeks. And then nothing!? No way. And who can pack all there shit and move somewhere in 2 weeks? Especially in our current housing market. There had to be someone else. Got back with his ex maybe? I don’t know. But something was definitely not right. Around the same time as his ghost stunt, I had come across a video on FB that made me think of him. I went to tag him in the comments… and what do you know, we are no longer FB friends. He totally got with another girl. Men don’t defriend people unless they are trying to hide that person from someone. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!

Another month passes and I’m still hung up on what happened with him. Remember, I really liked him and he said he liked me too. I texted him again just asking him to be honest. I needed closure. He admitted that he had met someone and that he was trying to do everything he could to make it work with this girl. I kind of laughed and said something along the lines of, “Oh, well I’m sorry she won’t let us be friends. That’s a shame”. He fired back with something along the lines of, “I can do whatever I want. I choose to not be friends with other girls”. Whatever. I’m not going to argue with him. At this point I’m just extremely pissed he lied to me in the first place after being “such a good man” and making up a story about why he just randomly stopped talking to me.

Another month passes (it’s now March). I have acquired enough mutual friends with him that he pops back up on my FB in “People You May Know”. So what do I do, I click it to see who this girl is. Come to find out, he has “Been in a Relationship” since December 27th. OH COME ON! So, basically, he must of been dating us at the same time after claiming that he was only seeing me. Because, it was one week from the last time he was spending the night with me to the time that he was in a relationship with this girl. I can do math bro. That just makes me SO ANGRY. He played me good. Best part, he was probably playing her as well… and she doesn’t know it.

I know the day will come when I run into him out dancing. I have no idea what I will say to him. Previously I thought about calling him out in front of the girl (who (at the time) I knew he was lying about), but now that I know there is an ACTUAL girl… maybe I would take the high road? Kill him with kindness? I mean, I am happy he’s happy? We weren’t “official”… But, still. I don’t know. I know that day will come. And I’m curious to see what my mood will be like that day. Hopefully I can hold my tongue. Best part, he knows I write. Maybe someday he will get bored and find this post about him.

NEXT!

The One With The Rant

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I have to take a moment and just complain about online dating. My girlfriends and I have gotten a lot of laughs about this over the last few weeks. We love nothing more than drinking mimosas and exchanging stories about the kind of people that we have the pleasure of encountering in the dating world.

Online dating sucks. There’s no other way to describe it. There are so many factors and red flags that you have to be aware of. If you don’t do online dating right, then you are setting yourself up for an hour or so of awkwardness when you finally agree to meet the person that you’ve been chatting up for the last few days. And let me tell you, there is nothing worse than being let down on a first date. I have come up with a few rules to consider before meeting someone in person.

  1. All his pictures are selfies: This is an issue for  couple of reasons. He’s either obsessed with himself (gym selfies for days) or he doesn’t have a lot/good friends. Or if all the pictures are of his face, then he is probably self conscious. Of course people say, “Why would you put your friends in pictures with you? That might confuse them of which one you actually are.” False. I have 2-3 pictures with friends. This shows people what I look like in relation to others and that I actually go out and do stuff with friends. Same factors apply to women. Women are camera gypsies. We will take 100 photos at various angles and choose the one that makes us look best. Why do you think we have so many selfies on our phones?
  2. All his pictures are group photos: If he decides to put up all group photos, you have to go by the most unattractive one in the picture. Sad to say, but true. If they aren’t smart enough to put one photo of just them, or descriptions in the photo to explain who they are, then you have to assume that any of the people in that photo could be him. Now, some of us are really good at picking them out of the crowd. You can go through them all and try to find the common denominator. I think it’s actually an impressive skill to have! However, ain’t no body got time for that.
  3.  There’s no information on his profile: Chances are if there is absolutely no information on his profile, he’s probably just as boring in person. When the “About Me” section says “ask me” I just roll my eyes and move on to the next profile. There’s absolutely nothing for me to go off other than your pictures. And when you have one picture of your dirt bike and one picture of your cat… chances are I’m not going to write you back. How would anyone write you back?! Also, your username is a bunch of numbers? What the heck? So stop writing me because I’m not going to change my mind. IMG_8694.PNG
  4. There’s so much information on his profile it’s like reading a novel: There’s a fine line between enough information and too much information. I recently read a profile that really caught me off guard. This guy was telling me all the things he was not. I found it completely unattractive. It was like he was bitching about all women. IMG_8699.PNG
    Dude, you sound like a freakin’ catch! NOT! After reading that.. I’m definitely not interested in you. Red flag. This man has some issues.
  5. Snapchat and Facebook are your friend: When you get to the point where you two have agreed to exchange numbers and text, adding them as a snapchat/facebook friend is always a good idea as well. Snapchat ensures that you get REAL and up to date photos of the person you are talking to. Facebook stalking is always ideal as well. You get to see more than just the best pictures that people have put on their profiles. In return, they get to look at all of your pictures too. Win-Win. funny-cat-facebook-profile-pic-real-you-fb-you.jpg

Bottom line — No one wants to be catfished. You are who you are. So why deceive others into thinking you look a different way? Because when they show up to meet you their mind is going to change because you’re the most honest, fantastic person they’ve ever met!? FALSE! You just lied to them for the past few days about who you are and what you actually look like. And for the record, whether you are going to admit it to yourself or not, physical attraction to someone TOTALLY matters. Everyone has their own ‘type’. So own what you got! Someone will like you for you! Do you want to be with someone who makes your jaw drop? Who makes you think that you are the pretties and luckiest person in the world because of how they make you feel and the way they treat you? I don’t deceive others. You either like me or you don’t. You either are attracted to me or you aren’t. If only everyone operated that way.

Rant Over.

The One Who Stood Me Up

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It was mid week and I was heading downtown to meet someone for a drink after work. I knew traffic was going to be rough so I left my house a little early because I hate being late to dates. I got downtown and texted the man I was supposed to meet. He told me he was stuck on the highway but would be there ASAP. He told me just to go into the bar and find a seat and he would be there shortly.

I walked into the bar and sat with the bartender. I told the bartender that I was meeting someone from Tinder and I needed him to save me if it looked like I was hating my life. He agreed to be my savior if needed. I ordered a beer, made small talk with the bartender and I waited.

About 10 minutes went by and I got a text from the guy I was supposed to be meeting. He told me that he was just getting off the highway and that he was starving. He told me to order some appetizers for us and he would be right there. I found this kind of fishy. I know how long it takes for someone to get from Point A to Point B in this city… and this guy was taking entirely too long. But you know what, I was hungry, and drinking, so I ordered some food.

Another 15 minutes went by and I knew that I had been stood up. I kept wondering if that maybe this guy had walked in an saw me and then left? But I’m going to guess that he never even planned on coming to meet me. Lucky for me, my bartender already knew why I was there an proceeded to give me shots to ease the pain. I couldn’t help but laugh. This was the first time I had ever been stood up.

There was another guy who was sitting up at the bar who was my age. I invited him to come sit by me and help me eat these nachos I had ordered given there was no way I was going to be able to eat all of them. I told him what had happened, and he proceeded to buy me a drink. Well, for being stood up I was not complaining about free drinks! Best part is that the guy who was helping me eat my appetizer took a liking to me and asked if he could take me out!

I don’t understand how any human being thinks it’s ok to stand someone up like that. Who does that!? If you didn’t want to meet me, then grow some and tell me that. Or here’s another idea, don’t set up a date with me? Or! You could also just say that something came up and you can’t make it; then proceed to give me the silent treatment like every other man who becomes uninterested. I just wasted my time getting ready to meet you, drove 30 minutes downtown in traffic, and then sat there drinking alone. Best part, this guy actually CALLED ME when I was driving home from the bar hours later. I’m pretty sure he just butt dialed me, or he called to see if I was going to answer and just start yelling. What a tool.

NEXT!