Monthly Archives: September 2015

The One Who Has the Same Name Ned Stark’s Bastard Son

Posted on by

0

It was Thursday night and I had just finished my date with the Collegiate Wrestler. I had been talking to this guy for a while who happened to have the same name as one of the lead characters in Game of Thrones. Here’s the kicker, I had never seen Game of Thrones at the time. So I really had no connection to the name like the rest of the world apparently does.

Anyways, he had asked me to come meet him once he got off work to grab a beer. Sounded good to me! Meeting for a drink is way easier than a meal. Let me give you some background: blonde, ex-military, rugby player, currently in school trying to make something of himself. I’ll take it. I have a thing with military men. And rugby guys. Usually because they are so manly. I meet this guy— not what I was anticipating. Yes, he looked like his pictures. No, I wouldn’t classify him as manly. He was cute, but I was definitely bigger than this kid. Which is embarrassing on some level because I’m only 5’4. Lets just say my thigh was the size of his waist. I also can’t forget to tell you that, for whatever reason, Friday is “No Pants Friday” in his world. So, he was in a kilt. Not even kidding. Is that shit authentic? Is this a joke? What are you wearing under there? Alright– I’ll roll with it.

Just so happened that World of Beer was playing Irish music that night. Maybe he won’t stick out like a sore thumb? The waitress came over and got our IDs and his credit card. When she came back to the table she said something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is really your name! Is this really your name?” No waitress lady, that’s not his name—he just wanted to get new credit cards, IDs and social security card just to have a ‘famous’ name from a TV show. Again, apparently this is a big deal in the Game of Thrones world. I didn’t care. A couple minutes later this woman who was in the Irish band that was preforming came up and asked him what clan he was a part of. Really? What clan he is a part of? I’m pretty sure Snow isn’t Irish. Just saying. It’s English actually (yes I just looked it up). He put on this fake Irish accent and started talking to her. Mmm what? Since when do you have an Irish accent? All I could do was sit there and drink my beer so I wouldn’t laugh. This dude just kept getting weirder.

I tried to keep the conversation going for a while, but eventually I pulled the ‘I have to work in the morning card’. It was the truth, I had to be up at 4:45ish to start my day. He walked me to my car and I could tell he wanted to kiss me. Oh god, how am I going to get out of this one? He came in for the hug/slash kissed goodbye and I dodged him. Whew, that was close. He said he wanted to see me again and all the jazz. Ok, cool. Sure.

I got in my car and started driving home. What was I thinking? I don’t want to see this kid again! Not my type. The next morning he texted me asking when he could see me again. I was honest with him and told him that he is a really nice guy but just isn’t my type. I also said, I am more than willing to hang out again but I didn’t see it going anywhere beyond friends. He responded that I wasn’t giving him a chance and that who knew what it would develop into. Of course, he is right on that front. HOWEVER, I have definitely gone out with amazing, wholesome men before that I wasn’t physically/sexually attracted to. And I learned that attraction like that doesn’t “grow”. It has to be there. Anyways, he was crushed. I never heard from him again. But he still sends me snapchats. Awkward. 

NEXT!

The One With the Collegiate Wrestler

Posted on by

0

I was meeting this guy off of Tinder for dinner (remember, I now have established rules). He seemed pretty cute from his pictures and had a good head on his shoulders. Not to mention some muscle. We met at this sports bar in Wash Park on a Thursday night. Cute place, I had never been there before. He was very cute. Kind of short for my liking… but attractive none the less. The one thing I really liked about him was that we talked for an hour before we even ordered dinner. We did the whole 20 questions thing and got pretty deep into some conversations about life. We were able to bond about the small Wyoming town where he is from because I had actually been there. We people watched. Turns out, he even knew the bartender by chance. it was one of his buddies from his Softball League. So, we got free shots too.  It was a great first date.

After dinner he walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye. I’m not going to lie—sparks were flying! He even said he didn’t want to walk away because he wanted to keep kissing me. Once I got in my car I checked my phone. Another guy (who has the same name as Ned Stark’s bastard son, no joke) texted me wanting to meet up. So, I went to meet him after my date (THIS WILL BE THE NEXT STORY). And yes, I did meet two guys in one night.

The next day I heard from the collegiate wrestler again. He was telling me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he wanted to know if I would go out to dinner with him AGAIN tonight. I had another date with a different guy setup… so I told him I wasn’t sure but would get back to him. Long story short, other dude bailed and I saw the wrestler for the second night in a row.

I met him at his place and we drove to The Rio together. Again we sat and talked with our drinks for about an hour before we even looked at the menu. For whatever reason we just clicked. I really enjoyed talking to him. He even liked to hold my hand while we were at the table.

After dinner we went back to his place to meet up with his roommates. They were going downtown with some friends and he wanted me to go along. Why not? Downtown was fun. I was able to hang out with him and get to know his friends. The girls even left the guys for a while to go dance. I joined the girls to show him I was comfortable enough to stand on my own and didn’t need to follow him around in order to have fun with him and his friends. However, it was always nice coming back to him.

This is where it gets interesting… On the way home (we took the light rail) he told me that his mother would really like me. WHAT? Ok… where is this going? I let it slide since he had been drinking and then he just continued right along about how I am the type of girl he wants to be with. Well that was nice to hear.

A couple days later we got together again. This time he came over to my house after work and I made him dinner. Things seemed to be going great! We really enjoyed each other and not to mention I really liked kissing him.

Then – CURVEBALL. He started not texting me in the mornings (first sign) and then he started making excuses when it came to getting together (typical boy move). When a man changes his normal everyday communication with you, something is ALWAYS up. I let it slide for a couple days and then I called him out on it. I have to admit that I was impressed that he was honest with me. He said he wasn’t really looking for anything right now and that he was feeling overwhelmed at work. That’s totally fine, but I didn’t mention ANYTHING about a relationship. I was just enjoying my time with him. And that was the end of that. 2 dates and one homemade dinner later he decided he didn’t want to see me again. That’s alright. His loss.

NEXT!

 

The One Who Called Me Sturdy

Posted on by

2

I recently went on an actual dinner date with someone off Match. Usually that is completely against my rules. I never allow myself that much time with someone the first time I meet them. That’s a huge commitment. Coffee or drinks are my go to. That way, if he is awful, I pound my beer and leave. Or, if I like him, it could turn into another drink, or possibly dinner.

Anyways, this guy is a professional golfer. Totally not my type. Tall and skinny. Kind of awkward. We are talking 6’2 and maybe 170lbs on a good day. I usually go for the beefcake- gym rat- muscle dudes. I can’t help myself. You like what you like. I was meeting him for dinner and was going into it with an open mind. I watched him walk into the restaurant as I was talking to my sister on the phone while I was sitting in the parking lot. I just started laughing because he was still in golf clothes since he had just left the golf course. Hey, he could rock the white pants.

I met him inside the restaurant in the lobby. We waited for a table for a few short minutes. In that time I was able to ask him how he was feeling. Earlier he had explained that he wasn’t playing professionally this season because of some injuries. Somehow that followed with him saying, “You probably wouldn’t get injured like me because you are pretty sturdy”. Ummmm thank you? Did you just call me thick? Large? I’m not really sure. My best friend had been called this before, given her muscles and her insanely hot bod… So I just started laughing. Apparently this was now a “thing” to call women. I’m still trying to interpret this comment.

We sat down for dinner and we were enjoying the standard first date conversations. AKA 20 questions. I learned that he lives in AZ part time and that all the women down there are only focused on a man’s money. Apparently, he hates that women seem to be so shallow. Somehow we started talking about Labor Day weekend and how I was heading to Vegas. This guy got SUPER excited when I mentioned Vegas. He then proceeded to tell me that his Grandfather taught him how to count cards when he was a teenager. Pretty sure that’s freakin’ illegal. He also claims to have friends in Vegas who would fly him out on a private jet if he said he wanted to go there for the weekend to gamble. Oh yeah! – He also mentioned that about $850,000 of his net worth is from counting cards/playing blackjack. (Shit, I should have ordered the most expensive thing on the menu). I’m sorry—didn’t you just complain to me about how women are shallow because all they want is your money? You’re flaunting it at this point. I about 100% positive one of my talking point on a first date is my salary. Who says that!?

The subject changed, we kept chatting away. I also learned that this guy was allergic to everything under the sun. Oh! And he got Rhabdomyolysis and should have extensive organ damage if not be dead. Such an interesting man. Basically, I could tell you his whole life story at this point and I have only been sitting at a table with him for a little over an hour.

We finished dinner, he paid (I mean, I know how much he has in the bank), and he walked me out to my car. He asked what I was doing over the weekend and if I would like to hang out with him again. I said yes. I was oddly attracted to him and wanted to learn more about him. Or was it the money? Why not?

He contacted me later that week and asked if I wanted to hang out Saturday. Saturday came around, never heard from him. Typical. Sunday evening I got a text explaining that his weekend got super busy and he was sorry for never calling me on Saturday to hang out. He asked how my weekend was. I responded. Then I never heard from him again. His loss.

Why do men do that? They always end a date with “Let’s do this again.” Or “I had a great time, I would like to hang out with you again sometime.” And they never follow through. If you don’t like a girl, just tell her. “Hey, I had fun with you but I’m just not feeling it.” Pretty simple guys. But hey, the silent treatment is pretty easy for us women to understand too. It’s ok. I’m probably too sturdy for you anyways. No girl likes to out lift her man. 😉

NEXT!

The One Who’s Ex Called 4 Times

Posted on by

0

I had been talking to this guy for about 3-4 months before I even met him. I had ‘met’ him off Tinder. Super hilarious man. I really enjoyed talking to him. He had just gotten out of a very serious relationship and I knew he was on the rebound. That’s ok. I still talked to him. He told me about his dates, I told him about mine. Nothing crazy.

It wasn’t until football season that we decided to actually meet each other for the first time. I went over to his house and we watched football and talked. I think we were both surprised that we were actually way more attracted to each other than we were anticipating. We went to Chipotle after the game for dinner and continued to banter like old friends. When I left for the night he kissed me goodbye.

A few days later he called to ask me if I would like to join him and a colleague who was in town for dinner and drinks. Of course, I accepted. I showed up at his house and us three walked into the city for dinner. Everything was going great. It wasn’t until after dinner that his phone started to ring. Constantly. After the 4th time it rang I finally just told him to answer it and that me and his friend would meet him inside the next bar. He was outside on the phone for a long time. I knew something was up. When he hung up he came inside and told us that he was going to have to call it a night and head home. We said goodbye to his friend and then we both walked back to his place.

On the walk back he started to explain that it was his ex who had been calling him. I found it strange that it had been months since they had broken up and he still felt obligated to answer her phone calls. Apparently she was driving one of his cars (why?) and he thought something had happened to it. I told him that I understood and that it was ok (even though it wasn’t). Anyways, he walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes for the night.

The next morning I got a text message from his EX GIRLFRIEND. Apparently she went over to his house after I left so she could get a few of her things. They started talking and she ended up staying the night. When he left for work the next morning, she got on his iPad, pulled my number from it and texted me. This girl is CRAZY. I don’t have the original texts anymore. But it went something like this, “This is _______. I’m his ex girlfriend. He is not ready to date anyone right now. He is in a very bad place and is confused about what he wants in life. It’s not fair that you are taking advantage of him right now when he is so vulnerable. How could anyone do that?! I think you should stop texting him. He needs to be around his friends and family right now. Not going out with some random girl like you. He doesn’t need a girl in his life right now.” I laughed SO HARD when she texted me. All I had done was kissed this guy! If she only knew how many women he had slept with since they had broken up… Haha! It was unreal. Is that considered bat-shit crazy?

I forwarded the messages to him and told him that it just wasn’t going to work out. And that he might want to put a password on his iPad.

The One with Tinder: Swiping to Your Soulmate

Posted on by

1

Tinder. A blessing and a curse. This is an app in which people find other people to talk to, date, sleep with, or other various activities. Sounds easy, right? This app makes you sign in through your Facebook in order to prove you’re “real”. You download the app. Throw some words on there. Pick some pictures you like and start swiping!

How it works: The location services on your phone find people within a certain mile radius of you. Their photos show up on your phone. You like them, you swipe right. You don’t like them you swipe left. The only information you are given is there first name (from Facebook) their age, a few photos, and whatever words they have chosen to write at the bottom of their little “profile”. Once both people “swipe right” to each other, they are able to message each other within the app itself. Simple right? Oh it is. Some people can spend HOURS swiping looking for someone they want to talk to. This app is also SHALLOW. I mean, I’m not going to lie. I pick the good looking dudes. Why? Because they are good looking, duh. I’m not going to swipe right to a guy I don’t find attractive because I’m sure he has a stellar personality.

Some of these profiles are hilarious. You have the classic dude with his shirt off. Dude with a puppy. Dude with a kitten. Dude petting a tiger. Dude showing you a picture of a fish. What is it with men taking pictures holding up fish?! I just don’t get it. Cool fish bro.

Sometimes, guys only put up group pictures. And then ONE picture of themselves at the very end. My girlfriends and I have gotten so good at picking out which guy he actually is. Odds are, he’s the most unattractive one. Why would you put up pictures of you and your friends when you know they are better looking?! You’re bringing it on yourself. Also, if he has all selfies DO NOT swipe right. It is a trap and he is a psychopath.

There will be many other blogs following this one that have to do with men I’ve (and friends) met off tinder. I just felt the need to explain it all to you so you know how shallow both parties are when the story is being told. Maybe not shallow, but forgiving? It’s a gamble. Again, Tinder is a blessing and a curse.

To learn more about how awful some men’s profiles are… Read this article -> Tinder Profile Pics That Need To Stop

Hello world!

Posted on by

0

I’ve been single for almost 2 years now. A girl starts to think, “Is it me? Is there something wrong with me that my friends aren’t telling me? Am I really that crazy? Is is the way I look? Something I said? Am I shooting out of my league?”. A girl has to wonder, what is so wrong with me that men just don’t want to date me? Well, after discussing it with my mother, my sister and some girlfriends… I have come to the conclusion that it’s not me. It’s men.

Dating is hard. Once you are out of college, how do you meet people? The bar. The grocery store. Online dating. It all sucks. Men at the bar aren’t looking for a relationship. No man is going to have the courage to ask you out after you both reach for the same apple in the produce department. Online dating is a gamble. I’ve tried it all. Tinder is always good to meet men, however, the majority of them are just looking for a “good time”. Lately I’ve been trying my luck on Match.com. It’s been going no where. I meet a man I like, and then 3 dates later he disappears and gives me the silent treatment. I’ve come to have no expectations.

Let’s be real, the majority of men in their early 20’s just want to get laid. And that’s ok. Women want to get laid too. However, we come across a double standard. Men get high-fived for sleeping around, women get shunned. It’s sad to admit that our generation has changed the way we perceive intimacy. What ever happened to a man picking up a girl at her house, taking her to dinner and then walking her to her door at the end of the night? Now it’s just, Netflix and chill. Which really means, I just want to get in your pants. Of course, not every man (or woman) acts like this. But my experiences say otherwise. The second you tell them no sex, they are gone.

Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t going to be a blog about me bashing men. Women have their roll in dating too. I’m just going to share my dating stories, and maybe some random life stories, and I’ll let you be the judge.

Happy reading my friends!